Listening Is a Skill - Here’s How It Develops Ep 151

"My toddler isn't listening."

If you've said those words - or thought them - this episode is for you.

In this episode of Talking Toddlers, speech-language pathologist Erin (with nearly 40 years in early intervention) unpacks one of the most misunderstood parts of toddler development: 

listening.

Spoiler: it's not what you think. And it's probably not what your toddler is lacking.

Erin breaks down why following directions is one of the most cognitively complex things we ask of young children - what's actually happening in their developing brain when we give a simple direction like "go get your shoes" - and why inconsistency is not defiance. It's development.

You'll also hear a story Erin tells on herself - the night she gave her two-and-a-half-year-old daughter a full lecture about "blessed language skills" and "remarkable comprehension"... and was met with a look of pure bewilderment. Because even the expert gets it wrong sometimes.

In this episode:

→  Why listening is a skill, not a behavior — and what that changes

→  What the developing prefrontal cortex actually means for your daily life

→  10 practical, daily habits that genuinely build listening (backed by 40 years on the therapy floor)

→  Why "fewer words" works better than any explanation

→  How routines and repetition build understanding from the inside out

→  The difference between "won't" and "can't" — and why it matters deeply

Whether your child is 18 months or 4 years old, this episode will change the way you see those moments when they just… don't listen.

And if you find yourself wanting more personalized support - Erin offers Discovery Calls for families who want clarity on where their child is and what they actually need right now. 

Not therapy. Not a diagnosis. Just a real conversation with someone who has been in this field for decades.

You're not alone in this.

🎧 Subscribe to Talking Toddlers wherever you listen to podcasts.

📥 Free resource:
The Top 10 Essential Skills Every Baby Needs Before Talking

👉 Book a Discovery Call 

These are FREE, one-to-one conversations designed to help determine what to focus on first - and whether a focused 6-week parent coaching format would be helpful for your family at this time. Not evaluations, not therapy - just space to reflect and be heard.

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DISCLAIMER:

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your pediatrician or a qualified health provider with questions about your child’s development or health. The views shared are based on Erin Hyer’s professional experience and are intended to support informed parenting, not to replace individual consultation or care. Every child and family is unique — please use your discretion and consult trusted professionals when making decisions for your child.

📩 Questions: contact@HyerLearning.com
 🌐 www.HyerLearning.com

Transcript

Erin 0:00

Their attention comes before listening. Always. You cannot ask a child to follow a direction if you don't first have their attention. And attention is not something we demand. It's something we earn. Hello and welcome to Talking Toddlers where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. here our goal is to develop clarity because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities, so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind, he's thriving. Through your guidance, we know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started. Have you ever said something so simple as, go get your shoes? And your toddler just stood there. Maybe they looked right at you and then they turned right back around and kept doing exactly what they were doing. And in that moment, you felt something. Maybe it was frustration, maybe it was confusion. Maybe it was that quiet, uncomfortable little voice in the back of your mind that whispered, Hmm, are they ignoring me on purpose? Do they even understand what I'm saying? Is something wrong? Is it me? Is it them? I want to be your guide through all of that Today, because I've been in this field for so long, I've sat across hundreds of families, exhausted parents, determined parents, worried parents asking me those same exact questions, and I want to gently, lovingly shift something for you right from the start. Toddlers are not born knowing how to follow directions. Listening is a learned skill, and it's a skill that has to be built through you in your home every day. But if we don't understand how that skill develops, what it actually requires from that young child's brain, then you can very easily end up expecting something from your child that they are simply not ready to do, or they're not wired to do. So today we're going to change that together through this conversation. Welcome to talking Toddlers. I'm Erin, a speech language pathologist with nearly 40 years of experience and early intervention, early child development and families across all walks of life. I have worked with children who came to me barely making sounds and children who had language skills. Well beyond their years. I sat with parents who were scared, parents who were relieved once I explained what was going on, and parents who just needed someone to say, you're doing much better than you think. Take a breath. But I'm also a mom, which means I have not just studied this. I lived it in the trenches, in the chaos with the toys on the floor and bedtime battles and moments where I looked at my own child and thought, why are you not listening? And more on that in a few minutes because I have a story about myself that I'm not particularly proud of, but I think it will help every single listener in this audience because you can see yourself in part of this. But first, let's look at what's underneath listening, right? We're talking about one of the most common things I hear from families, My toddler isn't listen. And what I want to do today is take that phrase apart, because I think when we really understand what's underneath it, what's actually happening in your child's brain and their body, when you give them that direction. Everything changes. the frustration softens, the expectations shift, and you start to see your child differently. And then I'm going to give you 10 practical daily habits that. Actually build listening. These are not tricks or hacks. They're real research backed, clinically informed strategies that I have used in therapy rooms for decades, and you can start using them at home today. I wanna start with something I say to almost every family I have ever worked with, usually in our first or second session. Listening is not compliance. Listening is development. Let me say that again because I really want you to sit with it. Listening is not compliance. Listening is development. When we say a toddler is quote unquote not listening, what we almost always mean is they didn't do what I asked when I asked or the way I expected and look. I get it. I totally understand that feeling. It's exhausting, especially when you're running on three or four hours of sleep and you need to get out the door and you only have three or four minutes, or maybe you know that you're already 10 minutes behind. But here is what I want you to understand about what is actually happening when you give your toddler a direction. Your child in that moment is being asked to do something that requires all of the following. At the same time, they have to hear your words. They have to actually register or process them, and then pull them out of all the other noises in the environment. They have to attach meaning to them and understand or interpret those words, not just vaguely, but specifically enough to actually act on them. They have to hold that information in their working memory, that frontal lobe, which in the toddler is just beginning to come online and is incredibly fragile. They have to shift their attention away from whatever they're doing. Right. It's, it's deep focus or attentive on whatever they're doing, digging in the dirt, playing with their, their duplos whatever, realize that your child's attention in that young two or 3-year-old is sticky, right? It doesn't like to let go of stuff. And so when I'm in it, I'm, I'm in it. Because I, I'm processing, I'm thinking in real time, and they have to figure out what action to take. So they're translating your language into an action or a movement or a verbal response, which technically is an action, right? And then they actually have to initiate that. That's all happening simultaneously within a couple of seconds. And if you really think about it, that's a lot. It's genuinely neurologically, developmentally a lot to ask a little person who's just figuring this world out and, and they're stuck in these very formative growth periods where language is still new to them. Yeah, and movement is still new to them. So here is something most parents rarely think about. Following directions is one of the most complex cognitive task we ask young children at this age in particular, but especially those first 3, 5, 7 years, more complex than we really want to give credit for. So when it feels inconsistent. When sometimes your toddler follows through beautifully and other times it's like you're speaking a foreign language that's not failure and it's not defiance. It's not even a true behavioral problem that is development in progress. And once you see it that way, once you really internalize that something shifts. Your parenting and your perspective. And your expectations, right? You stop trying to demand listening and start trying to build it. So that shift, that's everything. Okay, so let me take you into your toddler's brain for just a moment, because I think this context is genuinely life changing for parents who are open to seeing it, the part of the brain that is responsible for following instructions. Right. Also regulating impulses, holding information and shifting attention is called the prefrontal cortex. That front part of our head, right, our forehead. Now here's what you need to understand about the prefrontal cortex. It is the last part of the brain to fully develop. It doesn't fully mature until your child is in their mid twenties, right? Mid twenties for girls and closer to 29 or 30 for boys, that prefrontal cortex, But it begins its most critical period of growth right now in the toddler years and the preschool years. But I think unfortunately, parents and teachers and educators and even therapists have unrealistic expectation of that prefrontal cortex. What does that mean, honestly, for you? You're, you are in charge here of your 2-year-old and your 3-year-old. It means that the very biological hardwire system. That's required to consistently follow directions is still highly, highly under construction. Like I said, it's just beginning to percolate and yes, you'll see glimpses, right moments where your toddler follows through perfectly. Where they will surprise you, where you think, wow, they got it, they're getting it, the language is being processed, they're, they're in their groove, and then the next day nothing. They look at you like you're speaking a foreign language. And when you wonder like what the heck happened overnight, what's really happening is just basic human growth. Through neuroscience, right? The circuitry is still being laid. These things take time and a lot of practice. Now, the beautiful part of this is that we can support this development and you can see big growth, right? We can create the conditions that help those neural pathways grow stronger and more efficiently, faster, and much more reliably. Right. That's our goal is the reliable connections, and that's what the habits I'm about to share with you are designed to help you with. But first, I promised you a story, right? and I, I want to share this with you because I'm going to tell it on myself, right? Because I think it might be the most useful thing I can share with you today. And it's a story that always comes back in my mind when I'm talking about listening and following directions. But my daughter was about two and a half years old, and it was after dinner in the evening. honestly, I was stressed. It had been a big long week. Um, my husband had been traveling quite a bit. And I was kind of at the end of my ropes, right? I was running on empty and I was tired. But my daughter, bless her heart, she was not stressed at all. She was blissfully joyfully, lost in her own imaginative world, and she was great at it. Toys were everywhere. She was singing along, happy to herself. She was in her play zone state. Right deep in it, but I needed her to start picking up her toys so we could move toward bedtime. So I asked nicely at first, but there was nothing. Didn't even register. So I asked again, again, nothing, and then something in me snapped. Not in a scary way, but in a very tired cognitive. I'm a human and illogical way. I scooped her up and plopped her on this big sofa and I can see it as clear as day. And I proceeded. I, and I'm not exaggerating, I proceeded to give this poor, innocent child a lecture of her lifetime. I mean, I was pacing, I was gesturing, you know, with my hands and my facial expressions. My voice was going up and down. I had the full dramatic range. I was saying things like, you know, do you have any idea how blessed you are? Do you know how remarkable your language skills are? You can hear and listen to everything I say. There are children that I work with every day that struggle to follow simple directions to, to just attend to me for like one minute. But you, you can do that. You have all of these skills right before you, and you choose not to pay any attention now. Hmm. My staff used to joke to me and say, of course, your daughter has great speech and language skills. Of course she does. She has speech therapy every day of her life, just having me as her mother. That was their running joke, and they weren't wrong. She had very strong language skills for her age and great attention, all of it. But here's what I completely forgot, in that exhausted, frustrated moment. Okay, strong language for a two and a half year old is still two and a half year old language. She had no idea what I was saying or the message behind it. None, zero. She could not process that lecture, that reprimand. She could not follow my argument. She didn't understand. Blessed or remarkable or struggle. What she could process was mama's pacing high emotion, right? Mama's face looks kind of intense. Mama's voice keeps changing. I'm not sure what that means. Something is happening and I'm, you know, getting the brunt of it, but I don't know what to do. I don't know what happened here, but mama is being. Big. The truth is, she looked up at me with this expression, these big, perfect, innocent, wide eyes, utterly bewildered expression, like I had completely lost my mind. And the truth is, I did I remember that feeling as if it was yesterday, and then I caught myself. I saw the look on her face and I realized the craziness behind my actions and my expectations, So I started to laugh, like really laugh at myself. Like, Erin, you're losing it. The kind I think of laugh that only comes when you suddenly see yourself from the outside, right? And you realize what you've been doing. And at that point she was just confused, First mama was intense and she was pacing. Now she's laughing. What the heck, She looked at me and then she started to laugh too, because I have no idea what's really funny, but as long as mama's laughing and not ranting, that felt better to me. So she joined. And after a couple of minutes laughing together, we picked up the toys. I apologized even though she didn't really know what I was apologizing for, but we got ready for bed. And honestly, I tell this story over and over again because it so honest and real here. I was a speech language therapist for decades. And in one tired, stress out moment, I did every single thing I'm about to tell you not to do. Right? Too many words. Too much complexity. Zero understanding from her perspective, right? I wasn't developmentally aligned, even if she does have really strong language, expecting her comprehension to carry the cognitive load that it couldn't. She just looked at me where I was being dramatic. So if you have ever lost your cool, if you have ever over explained to your toddler, if you have ever given a lecture that made perfect sense to you and meant absolutely nothing to them, welcome to the club. I will volunteer to be your president because I feel it in my bones. I also want you to understand that this is exactly why this work matters, Because even when we know better, the exhaustion and the emotion can often take over. That's why we build habits so that the right approach becomes automatic, and yes, you will have. Harder days, but even on those harder days, nine times out of 10 you'll go into your habitual life. Okay, so now after. My ridiculous story. Let's get practical. Here are 10 habits that I have used in my clinical practice for, nearly 40 years, and that I have seen transform the daily experience of families across all kinds of homes, right? None of these require special material. None of them require a degree or training. It's not a program. They require you to be more intentional. More present and a little bit more patient. So let's go through them and then you'll be able to see where you are on this journey, So the FIRST ONE is to get into their world first. Before you give a direction, please connect with them, right? Get down at their level physically. On your knees or squatting down, sitting on the floor, let them see your face. Even say their name, touch their shoulder. This is not a small thing. It's helping them switch their attention. Their attention comes before listening. Always. You cannot ask a child to follow a direction if you don't first have their attention. And attention is not something we demand. It's something we earn. So getting on their eye level, when you are down there, when you make that eye contact, when you say their name, you are signaling to their brain. Something important is coming, please tune in. It takes 10 seconds, it changes everything. Okay? That's step number one. The SECOND STEP is to use fewer words. This is counterintuitive for a lot of parents, including me because I'm a chatty girl, but especially parents who are verbal, who are explainers, who want their child to understand the why behind the what. And you can do that with a four, five, and 6-year-old, but not a two or a 3-year-old. But here's the truth. For those younger children, for a toddler, more words are not more helpful, more words are harder to process. The signal gets lost, especially if you change up your words. Now it's a whole new direction, right? My lecture to my daughter. A perfect example of way too many words and none of it was relevant to her. So instead of a long explanation of why we need to pick up the toys, oh, because we're going to bed and the floor needs to be cleared, and we need to take care of our things, and, you know, show respect. No. Instead of all of that, just simply say, toys, go in the box. Bye-bye. Goodnight. Clear, simple action based, That is what your toddler's brain can actually receive and then act on less is genuinely more, especially in these years. All right. Step number THREE, give them one step or one direction at a time. This one, I can't emphasize enough because I think we forget, but toddlers are not developmentally ready for multi-step direction, and there's a whole hierarchy of following directions. But let's keep it simple for today, when we say, go get your shoes and bring them to the door, and then wait for me. We have just given them three separate directions and assumed our child can hold all three in their working memory, right? That prefrontal cortex, while they're executing them in a sequential order, that's a lot for a two or even a 3-year-old, they can't do that. Not yet. Not most kids, very rarely. So we need to break it down. We need to give them one instruction. We need to wait until it's completed and then give them the next instruction. Sometimes if you look at this hierarchy, you can maybe give them two steps that are related, needed. Go get your shoes and put them on. Or you could say, go get your shoes, and they'll bring them to you and say, good. Now put them on. But that is how sequencing is built, we pull it apart for them, and over time, gradually with practice and scaffolding, they will be able to hold two or three or four steps in their frontal brain. Not complex steps, but especially if they're, they're in relation to one another. get your shoes, put them on, meet me by the front door.'cause they know that they're going to the birthday party or something. But the ability to follow multi-step directions comes as. we consistently practice, But we build them step by step. NUMBER FOUR show and tell, use your hands point to things. Demonstrate what you want, model the action that you want. When your child hears a word and simultaneously sees what that word means, their brain makes that connection, When we gesture and speak at the same time, there's a better connectivity with that. This is not a crutch. This is really your child's learning skill at this time. And in therapy, we call this pairing language with the action, It is one of the most powerful tools that we have, and we're always backing it up with that gesture. So when you say put the toys in the box. You can point to the toys, you can point to the box, maybe pick one up, model it for them, show them what you mean. So you're not gonna do it all for them. You still want them to do it, but you're showing them what the expectations are, So you're showing their brain what this direction looks like. These words are matching my actions follow through, The FIFTH STEP here is to pause and wait. And this one I think is hard for a lot of parents because we're busy. And, and sometimes, we get through that first year, they're more mobile, they're having more and more language. They're approaching that second birthday, and we sometimes give them more credit than they're able to follow through with. And pausing and waiting can be especially hard for those of us who are used to moving at a faster clip, and we really have to adjust our living style when we have toddlers, But after you give a direction, your toddler needs time to process it. The language has to travel from their ears to their brain. It has to get decoded and interpreted, Get connected to the concept, get matched to an action, and then actually trigger that action. There's a lot of cognitive work going on that takes time, more time than we usually want to give. Or that we forget to give to our little ones. If we repeat the direction before they're finished processing the first one, then that's an an overload, We have essentially reset the clock and now they have to start all over again. And that's harder, So say it once, look at them, you know, get their attention first, right? Say it once. A simple one step. Then wait even 3, 4, 5 seconds. And if nothing happens, then you can gently repeat or maybe give them an extra visual cue or a physical prompt, But give them the gift of processing time before you get frustrated, So the SIXTH STEP in this helping and supporting listening is to build routines with consistent language. Remember what I said? That if we do these actions and we marry that with the words, then it gets solidified. It gets mastered in the head. Long-term memory and organization better. So toddlers who create routines, their brains actually thrive because of that predictability. And the, one of the most powerful things that we can do is to attach simple, consistent language to the routines that they already live through every day. Brushing their teeth, getting ready for bed, setting the table, getting dressed, changing the diaper, putting the toys away, right? Pushing the chairs in. All of those kinds of everyday life experiences, and you could put the language with them. Shoes on, wash hands, snack time coat on. Bedtime, all of that, right? And you just create the simple language and use it consistently when the same words are used in the same context every day. Yes, it gets a little dry and boring for you guys, but you're mapping their brain. Literally. The brain builds that association and the words become. The queue then, and then you don't have to do it with them. They've mastered that language, and so when you say bedtime, they know the queue triggers the behavior because of the predictability they have successfully lived. And then over time it becomes almost automatic. This is exactly what we do in early intervention, what I would do in therapy, We don't reinvent the wheel every day. We repeat. And repeat and repeat with intention and purpose. Repetition is not boring to your toddler. It gets dry and boring and monotonous to us sometimes, but repetition is how Understanding is literally built in their cortex. NUMBER SEVEN is to turn down the noise. And I talk a lot about this, but it's very important in this modern world that we live in. And I do think it, it's something that surprises many parents that it matters more than we want to give it credit for, If the TV is in the background, if there's music playing, if there are multiple people talking all at once, if there's, if you have, three aged kids and a husband, and maybe your grandmother, all of this, so you have multiple voices, all of that is sensory stimulation, auditory input in this close environment, and it will compete with your directions. Your toddler is working significantly harder just to filter all of that, tune it out, hear your voice, and then process. So say you have all of those things. Say you have two other kids and your, your mother is visiting and there's a TV or music on even, right? Their auditory filtering system is on overload. The ability to pick out the most important sound in this noisy environment is still developing, right? It's not fully reliable yet. and keep this in mind, like if you go to family functions or parties or, or big events, school events, right? So when you need your child to hear something that's important, reduce, reduce all of that competition, Turn off the tv, lower the music, or use instrumental music versus lyrical music, Step closer, get their attention first. Give their ears a cleaner signal for your voice and then they don't have to work so hard, Small change. Big difference. NUMBER EIGHT, catch success right away. And I don't mean that you have to like, do a big, party dance every time they listen and follow through. But when your toddler does follow a direction, notice it, name it. Right away, and it could be as subtle as a thumbs up, but you could tell them exactly what they did. That was helpful, You put the cup on the table, you listened. Thank you. This is not about empty praise. This is about something specific and important, right? You are strengthening the neural connections between hearing directions and then acting them out. When a behavior is noticed and named immediately, the brain then registers it as meaningful. Right. That's that positive reinforcement. It is more likely to happen again, because not only did you give them another opportunity to hear the direction, oh, you put the cup on the table. Good listening. And I want to be specific here, specific feedback is more powerful, more beneficial than just general praise. So if we say something like, oh, good job, that is less likely to be understood, So over time this builds your child's awareness of their own growing capacity and that awareness matters, So they, they begin to believe that they're good listeners, right? They've had a lot of practice and they know what that feels like, To listen and to follow through. So, NUMBER NINE would be to adjust your expectations consistently. And what that basically means is that a 2-year-old who follows some directions sometimes with support is exactly where they should be. That's developmentally appropriate. A 3-year-old who can follow two step directions with a visual cue or a prompt. That's beautiful progress. That's exactly where they need to be, and there's a big difference between that 2-year-old and that 3-year-old. We're not looking for perfection, we're looking for progress. And progress is not linear. Progress goes up and down. There will be great days and hard days. Days where everything clicks and days where you wonder if anything is ever gonna work again. It is. It's all working. It's a process even when you can't see it close up. Sometimes if we step back and we adjust our expectations, not to lower them, but we, We line them up with knowing that we're imperfectly human That accurate expectations lead to less frustration for you and a lot less pressure for your child. So both of you can then begin to breathe a little bit easier because you know that every day isn't gonna be perfect. But to step back and look and saying, are we moving forward with their listening skills, with their follow through and, and building this independence in, in our daily life now, NUMBER 10 is to remember that behavior is communication. And you know, I've always said this as a therapist, but I want to explain it a little bit here. This is when a child isn't following direction, the first question I ask is not, how do I get him to comply? Okay. The first question I ask is, what's this telling me? Where are they? Is he tired? Is hungry? You know, hunger can make everything nearly impossible and certainly processing language that's just coming online. But are they overstimulated? Has it been a big day? What time of day is it? Right? Have we had a lot of transitions? have there been a lot of input and demands on them, Are they confused? Am I talking too fast? Did I get their attention Do they actually know what these words mean or are we assuming that they're understanding is better than it? It's right. Are they in the middle of something that has every bit of their attention? Because if the answer is yes to any of that. Interrupting that and immediately issuing a direction is setting everyone up for failure and frustration and meltdown. Most of the time when a toddler doesn't follow a direction, it's not defiance, it is communication. It is their nervous system and their developing brain, doing the best they can with what they have. So before we assume they won't, let's ask ourselves whether they can, right? So I want to take a step back for a moment and talk about why all of this matters. Why building these skills early in these early everyday moments is so significant. Because these aren't just listening skills, we can support your child's ability to attend, to process language, to follow through, to understand. We are laying the foundation for everything that comes next. We are building the skills that will help them succeed in a classroom on the playground. at at a party, the skills that allow them to follow the teacher's directions or the coach's directions to participate in a group activity to shift their attention from one task to the next. We are building the skills that support friendship, because friendship requires the ability to listen to understand, to respond appropriately, to share. We are building the skills that reduce frustration and for the child who knows how to understand and to be understood, as well as for the parent who is not constantly in a cycle of repeat, repeat, escalate, power, struggle, and perhaps most importantly, we are building a child's confidence in their own ability to engage with the world. A child who knows what is expected, who understands the language of their environment, who has been supported to follow through, that child moves through the world with a sense of competence and that competence matters. But here's the thing I see too often in my work with families, families wait. They think it'll come, they'll grow out of it. I don't need to overreact. And sometimes that's true. The kids find their own rhythm. They do grow through it and build their own timeline, right? But sometimes the window of opportunity. Closes, and it doesn't close forever. It just means those windows of opportunities just make that learning easier, And that these habits could have been established earlier in very unremarkable moments of your life. And that it, the wiring just happens much more naturally. We don't wait for a problem to start to then shift and say, oh gosh, we better start supporting that developmental skill. We build it early in the everyday moments because that is where the best impact rests. So I want to say something here that I genuinely believe, and I think sometimes surprise people. There is nothing magical about what I did in therapy I just slow things down. I use simplified language. I support their attention. I build routines. I create predictability in a language rich environment where any child knew what to expect and had the support they needed to practice whatever they were working on, whatever they were building. And that's it. That's the work. And here is what I want you to hear through all of that. That you can do that at home. And I've always said this to parents, there is nothing magical I ever did in a therapy session. You are already doing a lot of it, I'm sure, and with a little more intention and a lot of grace for yourself, You can move that needle and build those skills naturally. The difference between what I do in a therapy session and what you can do at home is not technique. It's just intentionality. It's awareness, and that's why I created this podcast because the parents who understand what's happening, who have the language for it. Who know what to look for and what to do. Those parents are incredibly powerful agents for their child's development. You are your child's first and foremost teacher guide interventionist. If you may, and if you've been listening to all of this and somewhere in the back of your mind, you're thinking, huh? I haven't been doing enough of this. I've been expecting too much or expecting too little. I've been frustrated. I need to find some more patience. What do I focus on first? that's okay. That's not failure. That's just learning. And the fact that you're here, that you sought out this information that you wanted to understand your child more deeply, that says everything about the kind of parent you are right now, Nobody's falling behind. You are both right where you need to be and where you are is the place that you can build from. The research on early childhood development is clear about one thing above all other. The single most important factor in a child's development is the quality of their relationship with their caregivers. Not the flashcards, not an enrichment class, not speech therapy appointments, the relationship, the presence, the attunement with those that love them the most. You showing up, being curious, caring, and willing to learn. That's the intervention, quote unquote, that they need the most. Your child needs your presence, your purposeful life. And your playfulness in every interaction. Those three things are enough to change the trajectory. And so if there's one thing I want you to take away listening is not something we demand, it's something we build over time, one small moment after another, And if you're thinking you still have some more questions, You wanna run some ideas by me? That's for my discovery calls The link is down below. If you wanna have a personal conversation and talk about specifics. I'm here to give that to you. You are doing important work. These early years, these ordinary, chaotic, beautiful, exhausting years matter more than you'll ever understand the conversations you're having, the routines that you're building, the patience you're summoning, even when it's hard. The moments you get down on the floor and into their world, it all adds up. And it all matters. You don't need to be perfect. You need to be present. You need to look for the things that they're doing and support that. Thanks for listening. God bless and I'll see you in the next talking toddlers.