What Your Toddler Needs to Express Themselves Clearly (Part 2) Ep 114

Explore how speech develops after the first words — and what to do if your toddler can’t express themselves clearly. 

Erin explains how to recognize delays in expression and speech sounds and gives practical, empowering strategies to support your child at home.

 🎙 Part 2 of 2 in the “Building Blocks” Mini-Series

In Part 1, we covered the first two foundational 'pillars' of speech development:
1️⃣ Social Interaction – how connection fuels communication

 2️⃣ Understanding Language – why comprehension must come before expression

Today in Part 2, we’re diving into:
3️⃣ Expressive Language Skills – why pointing, babbling, and even grunting matter

 4️⃣ Speech Sound Development – what to expect, when to worry, and how to help

You’ll learn:

• What real expressive progress looks like (and the red flags to know)
• Why gestures are often the secret sauce to early talking
• How to build clarity and confidence in your toddler’s speech — at home
• When “he has his own language” is more than just a cute phase

This episode will equip you with practical tips, developmental insight, and encouragement to support your toddler right where they are — even if words aren’t flowing yet.

If you're a mom, dad, or caregiver wondering “Should my child be talking more?” — this is the conversation you need.

👉 Tune in now — and don’t forget to share with a friend who’s walking the same parenting path.

❤️ Ready for personal, purposeful progress?
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Momentum begins the moment you say YES.

CLICK HERE NOW - Tiny Challenge for Moms 

👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share with a mama who needs a reset.

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CONNECT WITH ERIN
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Podcast Disclaimer:
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your pediatrician or a qualified health provider with questions about your child’s development or health. The views shared are based on Erin Hyer’s professional experience and are intended to support informed parenting, not to replace individual consultation or care. Every child and family is unique—please use your discretion and consult trusted professionals when making decisions for your child.

Transcript

0:00

I've rarely seen a toddler who won't talk. It's nine times outta 10. It's because they can't talk. And even that toddler where you and I may have lowered our expectation and loved him so much that he doesn't find a need to talk, that's when we just pull him in and help him understand he's gonna get a lot more in this world and build a lot more better relationships if he holds up his end of the communication partnership.

Erin: 0:32

Hello and welcome to Talking Toddlers where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're gonna cover all of that, but here our goal is to develop clarity because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities, so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind, he's thriving. Through your guidance, we know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started.

1:13

If your toddler is two and still not talking, it's not because he's stubborn and no, it's not something that he'll just grow out of. There are clear signs when your child can't express themselves or be understood, and the earlier we can recognize them, then the more we can support them and the better outcomes they'll show. Today we're talking about what to look for and what to do when the words just aren't coming. Hello and welcome to talking toddlers. If you're new here, I'm Erin Hyer. I'm a speech language pathologist and toddler specialist for over 35 years. And I'm also a mom who knows what it's like to want the best for your child and also feel overwhelmed, confused with all the advice out there. So today we're gonna jump into part two of this important two part series called The Four Pillars of Speech and Language Development. Last episode, we explore the first two pillars. The first one looked at social interaction. How does connection build that base for human communication? And before any child can talk, they must know how to connect with other human beings. And the first building block was all about back and forth, building that attention through smiling, looking, engaging, and really responding in real time with that one-to-one partner that you have. These aren't extras. They're the very foundation of human language development. And then pillar two was under the umbrella of understanding language, why comprehension must come before expression and words don't just appear. They have to have meaning. They need meaning. So that rote memorization like colors and numbers and all that data stuff that isn't really human communication. It's words, yes, but it's not communication. Your toddler must learn to understand what you say before they can then go ahead and say it themselves. There is a developmental hierarchy in especially laying the foundation, but today we will cover pillar number three and four of course. But three will look at expressive language skills, and then four will look at speech sound development. And remember, I always help you clarify. Speech is the physical part of talking, right? It's how all of our muscles in our mouth coordinate in order to produce these speech sounds, individual sounds. But then we string them together to make the words and the phrases and the conversations. So let's dive into number three and four today. Number three, expressive skills is truly more than just words before your toddler begins using actual words. We need to look at some building blocks, some essential communicative intent, and that's the key here, and I touched upon it in pillar number one and two, but communicative intent. Your child is demonstrating that they're trying to connect with you. They're trying to share something that's either exciting or traumatizing or uncomfortableness or just I need to be with you, right? They're trying to express something. even when they're just grunting or whining or pointing, that's all human communication. Those are the precursors to real words, and we have to respect that and really reinforce it. So if he's raising his arm to be picked up, acknowledge it. Even if you can't pick him up right away, you say, yep, I'm gonna come two minutes. I have to finish washing my hands. Or if they wave to a stranger in the street, say, oh, it's nice to say hello to everyone, or blow a kiss. All of those gestures, especially as you approach that first birthday, are the precursors and highly necessary before true words come out. Gestures are one of the strongest predictors of what speech and language development will look like when your child begins to imitate actions. And that's what gestures are. Clapping, or tapping on the table, right? Pointing, shaking their head. Even the same dance moves, right? Wiggling your hips. Tapping your foot, and again, the infamous pointing, all of those gestures tell us that they're trying to communicate. They're watching you, they're imitating you, and then they're acting them out. And that's telling me and you that their expressive system, their wiring for human communication is really starting to wake up and connect. And that's, that's key. That's why gestures are so critical on those first, I'd say 16, 18, 24 months. So before words ever show up, there must be that intentional effort to communicate attached to the gestures themselves. And yes, we can look at, you know, baby signs as part of that makeup too, but one incredible tool that. Every parent should have is that 16 gestures by 16 months. it's simple, really concrete, good research based checklist that you can then track your child about waving, like I said, pointing, clapping, blowing kisses, shrugging the shoulders, all of you know, even pushing away. That's the gestures. These are typically developing average kids that they should be using 16 gestures by 16 months. That's pretty easy to remember. It's a brilliant study and a brilliant tool to have at your fingertips. I do think it's pretty shocking that most pediatricians, a lot of daycare providers, and even some of my colleagues speech and language pathologists really don't zone in and use that as one of the biggest developmental milestones, right? Someone like me, and I've worked with hundreds and hundreds of families, I can tell you this step is not negotiable. Gestures. Tell us what's your toddler's thinking and what he's trying to connect and then express through body language with other people. They show us that your child is ready. He's using, these gestures to represent his thought, his feelings, his needs, his desires, and that's what words are. Words just help represent, or they're symbolic of what's going on inside of them, inside their mind, or their heart or their soul, These are the bridges that we build through social play and engagement, and then helping them get ready for verbal communication, but we can't get there. Until we have this, this solid foundation. So just keep that in mind as you're going about your day as well as playing that these gestures and imitation of these gestures. Like I said, when they're a little bit bigger and they're sitting up and they can do, waving goodbye and rock in their seat and tap on the table and hug and kiss all of those gestures to objects and to other people, that is really, really critical in this stage. And I don't want anyone to brush it off or minimize it. and here's the cool part that all of you at home can support this naturally at any age, no matter where they are. You can zone in on these gestures, these nonverbal and of course you're always going to pair them up with the verbal language, but highlight focus zone in on modeling all of these gestures and make up your own baby language, right? Your baby sign language and use the natural nursery rhymes that are common in our culture, right? The itsy bitsy spider and the wheels on the bus. You know, all of these, right? that's why kids love them, gravitate toward them and feel empowered. So don't forget, there is a packet of, let's talk and the 16 gestures by 16 months are in that. But I can't say this enough that these small and consistent interactions are really the foundation. we're, I'm talking about these four basic building blocks, and this is number three. And it's really a hallmark to helping them get to that next step. and I don't want to minimize this, but baby signs are part of this, this gesture packet, and for a long while, I'll be honest, probably in the, eighties and even nineties, I kind of poo-pooed the whole, baby signs, not because I didn't think it was relevant or helpful. What the research really suggested is that it didn't increase the vocabulary words. It didn't even push a child earlier to talk. What it did do was reduce a lot of frustration, and that's key at this age of course. But what I now have kind of embraced is. we can take those baby signs, whether they're real American sign language, a SL or if they're homemade and embed them in this 16 gestures by 16 months. And so all of it is really rich precursors to spoken language, and so use them on purpose. these are gestures that a 1-year-old, a 16 month old can easily do. Right? Again, want, right? That's the want. Gestures I want. let's see. Jump right. Eat down the neck means I'm thirsty, right? Food is there. Sleep. All of those, those are baby signs, but, but they coincide with a SL as well, What now I want to focus on are some of the red flags, because we talked about, communicative intent. We talked about how gestures and actions, especially imitative gestures and actions, are really telling us that they're getting ready and ready for verbal communication. We also want noisy, noisy babies, right? And so along those lines, you want to see your 12 month old really babbling. and really having a, a wide variety of sounds and being noisy, you also want those gestures if they're not pointing or showing or reaching or waving or kissing or shrugging or pushing. All of those kinds of things, instead of just running away and ignoring you, but really using hand and body gestures to communicate that communicative intent. and the imitation aspect of it, of actions and sound making, trying to really imitate some of your sound that are important to him, especially as they push beyond that 12 month and closer to that 15 month you want imitation to really kick in. And then around 16 months, you want a good handful of words other than mama and dadda, right? You want words, a handful of words as they approach 16 to 18 months where they're using it on purpose. Either they want it or they're sharing it with you, or something happened to it, If his favorite truck, the wheel fell off and he'd say, broke. Broke. Or Truck. Truck, right? It's broken. or fix it, please. But as they're approaching that second birthday, then you really want 50 words and emerging two word phrases and 50 words. I keep telling everybody that'll listen is the minimum, And I, and I know the CDC has changed and all of that, but. Like, I'm constantly reiterating here, we haven't really changed, and so our, we should not lower our expectations just because the world has gotten noisy and messy and cluttered, You and me we know what's best for them. So a chatty 24 month old is what every mother heart is just aching for, right? Because as those two word phrases, build up, then closer to that 30 month and 36 month, they're really gonna have conversations. Now they're gonna jump around from topic to topic. They're not gonna make necessarily a lot of sense when they try to tell stories, but. If they're not using at least 50 words and starting to put two words together by their second birthday, then that is a pretty big red flag. And it doesn't mean that you immediately have to call someone and be worried. It just means like, what can I do differently during our everyday life to help support that? And the other big red flag that sometimes is overlooked or minimized is that whenever a child loses speech or loses interest in interaction whenever they regress, that is never, never part of the natural developmental process. So sometimes things like speech will take a back seat, especially when. They jump into the toilet training. that's just such a big milestone and takes a lot of mental bandwidth. And it doesn't mean that they regress and lose speech. It just means that perhaps they don't have as much momentum moving forward. And some kids will use repetition, stutter, like speech expression. It's not stuttering. It's just that a lot is going on in the poor guy's little head and body and soul that he needs more time. So it's the timing and you want to see good days and not so good days. You want success and you want frustration, and it's a process, but we're always moving forward. We don't want stopping though. We don't want a kid to stop interacting or stop using real words that he had last week that's one of the most serious red flags. And I know that here, I'm always talking about prevention. what can you do to get ahead of it? But on the flip side of that, we do have to know what are the serious markers that would warrant a serious conversation. and I know that our life, yours and mine, and everyone's has been a little wonky over the past several years. And like I said, there's been adjustment on the CDC guidelines of early development, I believe there are a couple silver linings and one of them is I think more families are asking questions, and that I think is always a good sign because that opens dialogue and I think that both science and research and human lifestyles, all of that should always be an open dialogue. I do think that more people are getting second and third opinions aren't necessarily looking at only the traditional. frameworks such as your medical system or your, your public school system that you're, you're reaching, you know, podcasts like this, you're reaching out to, to what can you learn at home or friends or family, or all of that. And I do think you as a mom, mostly moms, grandparents, are stepping forward more than we were five years ago. Now, I do recognize that some of us have taken on the mindset that there are things like COVID babies and that we don't expect quite as much from them, or it's not, it's not uncommon for, for some of these COVID I children to be less social. I think all of that is hogwash. I've shared that with you before. there definitely are more numbers of kids being referred for speech and language, at least evaluations. And I do think more and more kids are struggling. That's true. That's not hogwash. The hogwash part is that we just settle for it. That we just accept it as like a new normal. you know, I, I'm always looking at better ways that we can support children to close gaps and to really help them get back on track and develop toward who they're naturally being. You know, I don't wanna change kids' personality. That's not what I'm suggesting. I'm really just suggesting that we give all children the best opportunity to build and hone whomever they are. Right. So to seek advice. don't settle and to know in your heart, no matter what, that we as humans at any age, whether you're 12 months, 12 years, or 72 years old, we can grow and learn and adapt Period across our lifespan. That's what neuroplasticity is. That's what was brought out of the science world in the early 1990s. And, and we can talk about that, and I have talked about that in other episodes, neuroplasticity and, epigenetics and all of that. But if your child right now is to, or thereabouts and still not talking, or only has a handful of words, then you're looking at an expressive language problem. It doesn't have to be a disorder. It doesn't have to be permanent, I think it's better to get in front of it that that's where my prevention and proactive mindset shifts in that don't, you know, you can take a wait and see approach, but that's not gonna serve anyone, and when they're not expressing themselves. It's usually more than just speech. And speech is the physical part of talking, right? The speech sounds. And so when they only have 20 words or 10 words, or they're losing words, then that's expressive language and that takes, again, more mental bandwidth. But it also demonstrates that they're wiring our communication system and building the sounds and the words and the phrases and the sentences and the whole give and take, right? And so it's important to, to separate that out. You can have a two or a 3-year-old who's highly, highly verbal. They're chatty, right? Those are those noisy kids I keep talking about. But maybe you're only understanding half of what they're trying to say, We're gonna talk about that in the next, building block number four. But these are some of the things that you can do if they're not collecting the sounds and the words at the pace that we want. and there are five quick ways that you can support at home, no matter what your next step is, whether, you're gonna pick up the phone and call somebody. But I do suggest the first thing is that you don't wait. At least you start to gather more information. You know, reach out to me, call your speech pathologist in your local town because the more knowledge and the better understanding you have, then the better support you're going to get. and I want you mom and grandparents and dad to understand that you have so much more power that yes, therapy helps if you need to go that way. But everyday parenting is the real secret sauce in my opinion. And you can try using some simple sign language to support the verbal expression. and it's not just being helpful. It really is empowering them to, to express themselves, both verbally and non-verbally and take some pressure off. they're less frustrated then, right? and like I said, you can do more, you can do now, maybe, right. No, I want, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty. All of those kinds of things that when you pair them with words, then that's really empowerment. it closes the gap of frustration and builds their ability to be successful and feel like, oh, I can do this. It's taken work, but I can do that. Right. You're encouraging them to be successful. it removes some of that pressure of actual speaking. And that's what the research has indicated. Not so much that it really increases their vocabulary, but it, like I said, it closes the gap of frustration and, and their speech actually then begins to be heard. And they're trying more often because they're really communicating here with their hands and the speech is kind of automatic. the third piece of advice I have is to make it fun to use play sounds like the animal noises, the environmental sounds, all those nursery rhymes. It's much more interesting to hear you say vroom, vroom with a car. Instead of say, car, car, car, truck. Or click, click, click for the chicken. or even if they say things like, ey, for a monkey, That's an approximation. they know there are two parts. They don't have the confidence yet, but they're, they're, they know, okay, there, there's two parts to this word. It's not just E right? It's monkey. and so we want these animal sounds, these environmental sounds. They are one considered real words if they use them consistently across time. And two, they're going to, they're gonna try those before they try. To formulate the clear adult formation. Number four in this, list of recommendations is to simplify your speech. And I say this a lot here, But as you model, I want you to model and think of single words over articulate. Stretch out those vowels because you're coding, they're mapping inside their head based on what they hear and what they see in your mouth. and then they'll start to attach those onto words that are meaningful to them, that they hear hundreds, 200, 500 times a day, right? Water, more ball, go up foot. Hand wash, eat, poopy, stinky, sit, right? Look, those kinds of both nouns and action words that they hear over and over and over again. But if we pull'em out and we stress them, we're coding the language, we're attaching it to meaning it's meaningful to them, they're gonna be interested. And so, like I indicated earlier, I do have a vocabulary building guide that will have a link down below, as well as let's get ready to talk, right? So look down below for all the different choices that you have and, you know, take one of each. Alright? And the fifth recommendation that I have is. it kind of encompasses all of this, but focus on things that are relevant. That's why screen times don't, don't work. Yes, they might be able to imitate a word or two off of that, but if you attach meaning to their favorite toys, their favorite healthy snacks and foods, their favorite games, their favorite people and pets, all of that, then it's relative. And we all want to learn about things that are meaningful. What lights him or her up go there? Always start there. Especially when you're looking at a kid under five. because in order to do that, we need them to buy in and, and I've said this probably, I don't know a thousand times in my lifetime that. Kids can be so well loved and so well taken care of and understood with the exception of verbal expression that they're like, well, why should I bother? And so we have to help them buy in that your little guy or your little gal needs to understand that if they participate, if they take on this role, then they're gonna get a lot more out of their day, out of their life and a lot more meaning, right? And there's a lot more satisfaction. and part of that is to help them understand that it takes two to talk always, And yeah, you can practice and, but you know, when they're talking to themselves, they're really having their dollies or their trucks or their wild animals talk to each other. And so above all of these recommendations, ignore the advice. If anyone ever says, wait and see. Because if you have a concern, even if there's nothing wrong and you have unrealistic expectations, okay, fine. but never wait and see. That's just because what an evaluation really does, or picking up the phone and talking to someone or, listening to a channel like mine, it, you're just gonna gather information, you're just gonna learn what it takes to support early child development. Right. But I have heard over and over again, one of the top regrets that most parents, mostly moms, but we'll say, is that they didn't listen to their gut and they, they took the advice to wait and see. And, and I, I certainly get that you don't want to. Act prematurely, but I think it's also incredibly rude of any professional to dismiss your concern. I know that there are a lot of people who say, oh, I have an ache in my shoulder. I think I might have cancer. You know, being that crazy. But when it comes to early child development, you don't really know and you don't know what you don't know. I've said that here before too. And so just to seek information and input doesn't mean that there has to be a big, bad, ugly diagnosis after it. because at the end of the day, your toddler, any toddler would talk if they could. And just like I said, that, they're kids aren't being defiant. They're, they're having trouble understanding what the behavioral requirements are at this age. Now, if you're having a seven, eight, 9-year-old and they're being defiant, that's a whole nother story. But when I'm, I'm talking about that one, two, and three, and even that 4-year-old, I've rarely seen a toddler who won't talk. It's nine times outta 10. It's because they can't talk. And even that toddler where you and I may have lowered our expectation and loved him so much that he doesn't find a need to talk, that's when we just pull him in and help him understand he's gonna get a lot more in this world and build a lot more better relationships if he holds up his end of the communication partnership. And that's really what we're talking about here. So now let's move into the fourth building block. And that is really the speech sounds How does your child acquire all of those speech sounds? And I've shared with you in the past that there are 26 letters in the alphabet, but there are 44 sounds that we produce to string together and speak English. And I always give the example, you have the S, you have the H, and you also have the S eight. And that's what we would call a voiceless sound. But if I turned on my voice right and made it vocal, then that's a sound like in the word beige or pleasure. So that's how we come up with those 44 sounds. But in the beginning, it's all about the vowels and some of those early development sounds. And in the link below in the packet that I put together for you all, there is a speech development chart, because the SH is a little bit harder than the B, right? And the rr, the infamous R sound is one of the hardest sounds along with the th But those, those are fine details. But when I talk about speech and speech intelligibility, and some parents will look at me a little cross-eyed and say, are you talking about intelligence? And we say, no. That's simply how clear is your toddler being understood by the outside people, right? And sometimes it's dads because dads don't spend quite as much quality and quantity of time, so they're not quite as acclimated to their subtle speech differences. But it's usually a friend or a neighbor who only sees your child once in a while, But it's really how clear is his speech being understood by outsiders, keep in mind when we're looking at a 1, 2, 3, and even a 4-year-old, we're not looking for perfection. Toddlers won't sound like you and me. Now, every once in a while you're gonna find a remarkably articulate 3-year-old. That's great. they do exist quite often, but we're talking about the average kids. So they will be mixing up the sounds and simplifying, especially if they're looking at a word that is complex in its, structure. So even truck that TRT, that's a complex blend, right? And then going from the front of the mouth, going to the back and the back and up the R is a complex sound R and then you have to pop up for the right. So that's a lot of tongue movement that's complex. So they're gonna make it easier. They're gonna say, Tuk or Uck, right? Or tuck. They'll drop off the R altogether. When they're two and a half, and then they're going to maybe substitute that w in there for that r for tuk closer to that third birthday. So as they're progressing with age and experience, they're going to modify their simplification. And, we as speech people, we understand the vast majority of those substitutions and what's a typical progression, You don't have to know all of this. You just have to know that their speech is progressing. It's getting clearer and clearer. You know, two weeks ago, uncle Joe couldn't understand him very much, but now they, you know, they're getting on just great at the family picnic, right? but so always keep in mind that you should expect progress. There shouldn't be plateaus and there should never be regression. So here's some general, general guidelines. I do have more clear milestones in the packet, so take a look at there. But by two, most parents understand at least 50% of what your child is trying to say, right? So keep that in mind. That's about 50%. Now, also, they should be using a lot of gestures and body language to support that, so then we can understand a lot more. If they're supplementing it with nonverbal communication by three, that percentage jumps to 75%, even with unfamiliar adults. So someone who only sees them at church every Sunday, or someone who. sees them at, at the park or something, but by three they should be speaking in sentences. Not complex sentences necessarily, but complete sentences where there's a noun and there's a verb, and the structure is pretty solid. And this speech sounds are close enough to the adult formation that the lay person can understand them 70% of the time. And they should also be able to tell stories. Again, they might jump from topic to topic, they might get a little, repetitive in their, in their thought process, but they should be understood. And then by age four, we expect speech clarity to be closer to 90% with all. Adults. Now some kids will be more chatty of course, and some kids will be a little bit more reserved. But the key here is that all toddlers, your one and two and 3-year-old should be attempting to express themselves with better and better clarity. And I also want to include here this myth that has been a lie, alive and well for my 40 years of practice for sure. And I'm not quite sure who or how it came up with that boys, poor boys, develop speech and language skills slower than girls. There has never been any evidence to support that. Now it's true that boys or male babies and male children tend to be at a higher risk for developmental issues such as speech and stuttering, autism, any kind of learning or language-based learning, problem reading, challenges, all of that. There tends to be a four to one ratio early on in elementary school. When we look at that three and that five and even that 10-year-old, but somewhere in middle school, the numbers kind of balance out. boys generally these, these are general terms. Boys and girls express themselves quite differently. Boys tend to be the squeaky wheel. So if they're struggling in social skills or speaking skills, or attention skills, all of that, then they're gonna act out more in class and be identified. That's that squeaky wheel, Girls tend to also, mask a lot of their challenges with speech and language and, and we do have some biases, I understand that. But in those first 10 years, there tends to be ask skew with boys being identified more than girls, but it doesn't mean that we ever did, nor are we currently expecting different developmental norms between boys and girls. you know, you look at the bell curve and it's the same for boys and girls. It's just basic biology and human growth development, right? So now let's take a quick look at some of the red flags for speech sound development. And remember, speech is the physical part of talking. Is the speech sounds different than the language processing, which have two sides, right? The receptive or understanding and then the express of how well can I express myself using my vocabulary and grammar structure, my understanding. And like I said, I do have a speech sound development chart in the guide down below. here's some red flags. If you have a child say, one years to two years and they have a few consonants, only the simple consonants like M mm or B or duh duh. So they only have three or four consonants and they're not having any back sounds and back just means in the back of the mouth the C or G. G or they're going back and forth. We want by two years of age. a typical, average kid is saying all of the vowels and there are 20 vowel sounds. But they're also saying a wide variety of those consonants. And you can see on the graph when you look at the bar, the beginning of the bar, that's when 50% of the kids will say that sound, and then by the end of the bar 90% of the kids have mastered it in all different contexts, right? The beginning of the word, the end of the word, and the middle of the word. But when you have a child with just a handful of different consonant sounds around their second and certainly their third birthday, then that is a speech problem that you need to take a closer look at. Now, if they're also closer to that third birthday, dropping a lot of the consonants, the first sound or the last sound, that's a big red flag too. That's not that uncommon on their second birthday, but you should be seeing progress as they're building their vocabulary between that second birthday and that third birthday. and I've shared with you all before, that's what we call that language explosion. So their vocabulary expands, but at the same time, they're also gonna be trying harder and harder, you know, multi-syllabic words. So that's gonna be kind of an what we call an articulatory overload. So they will drop off some of the harder sounds or simplify some of the blends. So for example, if you're seeing. Even a two and a half year old who's dropping off the, in front of the word cup and they just say up or h Right? And we want that back sound. or if they're simplifying a, a two syllable word called say monkey. Now, monkey is hard because you have the hm, right. And then key, right? So you have two syllables. You go from the front, you go to the back. certainly not one of the hardest words, but kids will simplify it and maybe they'll just say, They'll just say the vowels, they drop off the, even the mm right. or they simplify and, and produce the into a G, right? Because it's made in the same spot in the mouth, but one's voiced and one's voiceless. So I'll say UNC Gie. Right? And so when you have, and it's hard for you and me, that's why I, I just record and I listen, astutely with headphones, and you can do this, you can secretly record them. And, and I've been encouraging a lot of moms these days, just record them and then really analyze.'cause it's so hard to hear what sounds are they really saying in real time. So just put it on audio, record your phone, put it on the side, and, you know, start playing quietly, whether it's Play-Doh or you're looking at a book And really ask them questions, you know, like, oh, what's this, or what's this girl doing in the book? Or like, oh, this looks like, the lake that we go to. What do you like to do at the lake? And you can bridge into these different conversations, but audio record it and listen back and figure out what sounds, are they saying? Also a red flag at this stage is if they have no two syllable words. And so words like cupcake or even, monkey monkeys two syllables cupcake, or is a compound word, right? So it's a real word and a real world word snowman is also. And so take a look at their vocabulary list and what they're trying to put together. and then there's things like, football or baseball or. Even but 10, because before they can say those individual sounds, they have to have the parts, they have to know, oh, they're that word snowman, or button or cupcake, that there's two parts to that. So I have enough auditory processing that I might have to simplify some of the speech sounds within those parts, but there's still two beats to it, right? You and I know them as syllables, but they look at them as what's, what's the beat? just like, the infamous Ana and I don't reinforce if they're dropping off and, and making it simplified. So if they say, Nana, I say, yeah, that's a bun Nana. Now I do use nicknames or family names. but I don't if it's a real object or if it's, their favorite toy or their favorite blanket or their favorite whatever, then I will use those as a nickname and simplify it. But even the simple words of banana or water, I never call it Wawa. I never reinforce that. And I, I recommend that you guys don't either, but you don't necessarily always have to correct them. You just give them that adult model. And that's the key. especially when they're two and three, correcting really can shut that conversational flow down quickly, and we don't want to do that. Okay, because we're giving them the nonverbal impression that you're not good enough, When they're three and four, if they have a lot of speech sound errors, then we might play with some of those sounds and that's a whole different conversation. the best way to do it is to elongate it and stress the sounds. Like if they say aunt for monkey, you say monkey, you just stretch it out naturally, you know when you're playing. and sometimes I'll say, oh, watch me say that. Now you say that, that could be more probing and appropriate, but correcting isn't probably a good thing to do when they're too pushing that third birthday. Right? So another red flag would be. That they speak mostly in jargon beyond age two. And jargon is just a speech term that we use, gibberish, Or it's nonsensical to us. highly unintelligible, less than 20%. But you know, once they've hit that second birthday and they're moving beyond, you need to be seen their speech clarity move forward. And if they're not, then that's another red flag, and we're gonna have to take a look at why, right? There's always a reason why. my thinking here, my rule of thumb is if it's less than 50% after their second birthday, and then if it's less than 75% after their third birthday. So take that into consideration. Those are kind of the red flag markers. And again, it just prompts a conversation and for you to pick up the phone and ask someone. and I know that a lot of people will say, oh, he or she just has her own language. And I think that's just a cop out, honestly. yes, his own language because he hasn't quite figured out our language yet. I think, again, you don't go in there and try to fix it. You give them a lot of one-on-one opportunity times to hone, to listen, to watch, to attach to real life things that are meaningful to them. And these kids, God was pretty brilliant to wire our brains to be able to learn any language at birth. And so their pruning and shaping through their life experience. And I think it's important that we give them enough of our undivided attention and presence to help do that with them. And that's the whole key that kids learn how to speak and talk and listen and have conversations with us through practice. when we go back to highly jargon speech or unintelligible speech that's appropriate when they're 14, 16, 18, 20 months. But beyond that, it's not age appropriate. It's not typical. Right. And so you want with that 2-year-old, especially if someone is pretty chatty at two, so you're gonna hear some unintelligible words and then these, his real words popping out and that's what you want. But if it's mostly unintelligible, then that's time for a different conversation. I do think that highly unintelligible words is different than if you take a recording and you hear a lot of speech sound errors that just makes their words what we call approximated. So they're pretty close to the adult form, but you and I can understand it because the substitutions aren't that crazy or one off. Right? And so for example. The word truck, that TR is a hard blend. So kids will simplify it and in the beginning they might say tuck or they might use another substitution, an F there, which is often common. But they quickly learn that, oh, there's a sound right after that. TI can't really say it, it's an ER sound that's too hard for my tongue to do right now. So I'm gonna simplify it with what we call this round sound. The W, right? Tw. It's pretty close. Sounds everybody can understand what I'm saying now. So tw, right? And so that's what's going on in their head. And even the word monkey, again, two syllables. Do they have the two parts and are they trying to put a consonant where there should be a consonant? So they might say, monkey. Right. They'll say the G instead of the K for the key part. And so they know that a sound goes in there. They're not just dropping it off instead of mung mung, right? We want a G in there. We want substitutions of sounds and not dropping off after the age of two, two and a half, and especially at three. And even another, common example would be the word breakfast. Again, this is a two syllable word. Kids need two syllable words before they can say two word phrases. I want you to make that clear. Two syllable words. Monkey breakfast, cupcake. Dump truck, baby. Oh baby doll is a phrase before they can say two word phrases. More carrots, right? daddy home. Shoe off. Those are two words. They're communicating a thought or request a desire, but physically and cognitively or linguistically, they have to understand that words can be made by two parts. So put that again in the back of your mind and when you're listening and watching, then keep some of these things in your forebrain and say, ah, okay, I see what he's doing here. the next is, what can you do at home? Here are five points that you can do regarding speech, sound, and clarity or intelligibility. Here are five points. The first one. And I've said this over and over again, but model the correct sounds in a natural format. Don't just repeat their errors or don't have them try to imitate you. That if we just rephrase what they've said in our clear speech than that that's another opportunity for them to code the language correctly. So self-correction. So if she says up for cup, right? So we really wanna clear in the beginning and we wanna at the end. And so if they just say, uh uh uh right? And you say, oh, I see your cup. Yes, there's your cup. And you stress it. I know you're all saying, yeah, but Erin, that sounds like so foolish. I look foolish. I sound foolish. I feel foolish. but they need that. That's what I did for 35 plus years as a speech therapist. That's what helps them auditorily remap their errors into correct form. And then you say, oh, let's get your cup. Let's wash your cup. Here's your cup. So now they've just had 10 models. You stress, there's three sounds in that word and there's specific sounds. You can't just approximate them. And so that's what the kids need this along that. And I know a lot of you're like, oh, I don't really wanna talk like that. You don't have to do it 24 7. You simply do it when it's just you and her. Or you and him in the bathtub, or you're getting them into the car seat, or they're, you're looking at the apples at the grocery store. You do it once in a while. You do it when you guys are alone. You do it when you're putting them in the high chair and you're just seeing their beautiful face right next to yours. Right? It's not 24 7, but it's as often as you can. And like I say here a lot, you snatch these moments or a few minutes and it adds up and it's, more than, 45 minutes with me in a one-to-one little play session. You need those times too, don't get me wrong. and you only do this for a little while, a few months, maybe a half a year. Right? Unless you have three kids behind them. The second recommendation, what you guys can do at home is to always make it fun. So when you're playing and you know that he's dropping off a lot of the first sounds in words, then you stress it. if you have a bus and you go room room first of all, and then you go bus, B bus, and you again just give them a lot of auditory mapping opportunities in a playful manner, one-to-one in context. So you at this stage, at two and three, we're not doing drills from flashcards. We're using play eventful or play activities that are meaningful to him or her. We're also using a lot of rhymes and songs that we can exaggerate. I say this over and over again, but every culture has them. That's why we have them as, as humans. There's a lot of good, good basic rhyming books that you, again, you can stretch things out. You can, stress the beginning and the ends of sounds, help them build that structure. Number three of these five things that you can do at home is to create opportunities for, for them to see your face. And the idea here is, and just like I gave you examples a minute ago, put something up to your face, right? Again, this is what a good speech therapist does. And so if you have that bus. Bus. So they're looking at your mouth, they're looking at the object, they're looking at your eyes, you're building attention, engagement. They, they think you're funny, right? So you do that at meal times. That's why we always have meals with each other. Bath times. Mirror times, right? So if you pick'em up and put'em to help wash their hands or brush their teeth, there's a mirror right there. We can share. Look at our mouths, look at our eyes, build that, you know, give me an extra two minutes or 90 seconds, right? Tummy time, if they're younger, face to face. If you don't wanna get on the floor, put'em up on a table. You sit in the chair and you know, you're playing with the sounds And the mouth movements and the noise making. Right. Again, when you're putting them in and out of the car seat or the stroller or the highchair or putting their shoes on, all of that, it's face to face, right. Eyes, mouth and hearing. the other thing to keep in mind is to avoid overcorrecting if you have a two, three, or even a 4-year-old. You know, there are lots of ways that I have learned. Over the years through trial and error. Mind you, there are kids that I unfortunately got to shut down on me because I was trying so hard to get them to imitate. But kids will naturally imitate us if we're lighthearted and we don't ask them to. it's pretty common, like in the whole cup example that I gave you, if I said, oh, cup, there's your cup. after I say it two or three times, they're gonna want to imitate us because I'm not asking, I'm not forcing, I'm not putting pressure on them. They will naturally want to imitate us because that's what kids do. They imitate our gestures, they imitate our words, they imitate our body language, our actions, all of that, And so just modeling will help increase that imitation, especially if you're giving them more and more one-on-one time. and the fifth don't in this, list is really don't do the drills at this stage. Keep it playful. Like I said, and I think I've hit this point pretty well, keep it connected and meaningful to them. it's giving them opportunity to practice, to find their own rhythm in it. And it, it really is at the end of the day, all about opportunities to practice in a natural setting that's fun and loving and supportive, and we're being the best speech and language model that they deserve. And, you are their first natural teacher and influencer and model and all of that. so use that to your benefit. So these four building blocks don't operate in isolation. I think you can see how the two from the last session and these two really build on each other. And when one of these building blocks is weak or we skip over it, it really does impact the whole communication system that that's being developed and acquired over time. So here's your key takeaway. If you focus on the wrong stage, you'll likely see very little progress and more frustration for you and your child. But if you meet your child where he or she's at, at this moment and support that layer of development, then you'll see progress and that will come. We have to meet them where they are, support them, and in our minds only know what the next, step or two are. So then we know where we're headed. We don't have to know the end result. We just have to know what the next step is, right? So small things done consistently every single day make the biggest difference. and I've seen this over and over again. I know that you've got this, and I'm here if you have any questions or need support, but don't look too far down the line. Just see where is my son or daughter today, and how can I serve them and support them onto the next phase, So if you have found today's episode helpful, please share it with another friend. you could also leave a rating on Apple Podcasts because that really helps me reach more moms just like you. And remember, if you're looking for one-to-one support I have a link that you can, learn more about the tiny challenge. It's active right now. thanks for sharing your precious time with me and for being the kind of mom who truly wants to learn on the job stuff that they've never intended, but that you're willing to show up with intention and learn a little bit better each and every day. And so remember to keep talking, keep playing, and keep connecting with your little ones. At every one of these levels because your child is listening and they want to be there with you. We just have to be the model and the guide that they deserve. So I'll see you in the next episode.