How To Get My Toddler To Cooperate: Part 1

What does cooperate mean?

Oxford Dictionary states:

- work jointly toward the same end.
- assist someone or comply with their requests.

Today, we’re diving into a fascinating topic that connects two powerful pillars of early development: language and play.

These two skills grow hand-in-hand, forming the foundation for your child’s communication, problem-solving, and social-emotional abilities.

This episode kicks off a 3-part series where we’ll explore how PLAY skills and LANGUAGE development not only enhance learning but also improve cooperation in toddlers.

In this first episode, we’ll outline the DISTINCT TYPES of PLAY and their connection to language, cognition, and behavior.

You’ll walk away with insights into how fostering these skills can help your toddler feel understood, manage their emotions, and engage in more cooperative interactions.

So, grab your coffee, settle in, and let’s start building those bridges between play, language, and a more connected parent-child relationship!

You've got this and I'm here to help.

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Transcript

0:05

And I think that that's really, really key to understand that. You and I call it play, but that's, that's their job. that's what they're wired to do. God said, okay, little body. once you get through the birth canal and survive these first couple of months and feel secure and happy and loved and, and finding a routine, then you're going to learn how to. Hello, and welcome to Talking Toddlers, where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're going to cover all of that, but here, our goal is to develop clarity, because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind. He's thriving through your guidance. We know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started. today, we're going to talk about a secret that really helps support your toddler in cooperating. And you might be surprised, but I thought it was perfect timing with Christmas right around the corner. To really dive into this beautiful connection between what I look at as pillars of early development. And that is language and play. And you might be saying, how is that connected to cooperation? Well, These two skills, literally grow hand in hand, forming the foundation to your child's ability to communicate overall. Problem solve social, emotional abilities. And really integrating and interfacing with the environment. And that's what cooperation is all about. So this will be the first episode of a three-part series where you and I can explore the distinct types of play. Because age is important, right? You're you're not expecting a one-year-old to play like a three-year-old. Or a three-year-old to play like a five-year-old and it's important to know the differences. And then we'll talk about how they influence language growth. And here I'm all about talking plain and eating and how those three pillars. Meet together to help you guide and raise a beautiful, thriving, happy, curious little guy or little gal. But in this episode, and today we'll start by laying the groundwork, introducing you to categories of play and their connection to early speech and language. And then in the next couple of episodes, Depending on how deep of a dive I go, but we'll cover more specific. Practical strategies and everyday moments that you can nurture these skills at home and make it natural and really help them build their relationship with you with family, with the environment. And that's where cooperation comes from. So cooperation, isn't just. Being. You know, a dutiful little toddler, it's really being a part of your family and a part of his community. And that's what we're looking for. So, go ahead, grab your coffee or settle into your, into your walk or perhaps you're driving. And let's, let's walk through this journey together. So I want to start by someone that I think really helped us as speech, language pathologists. Help. Other people who work with your children, whether it's parents or preschoolers or other kinds of therapists really understand this connection between language processing. And I talk a lot about that here, but processing is taking in information. Or putting information out into the world. in a step-by-step sequential. Process, because that's what speech is as I'm. Connecting my thoughts and rattling off sentences. And then those sentences are rattled off by putting a string of words together. And those words are made up of these individual sounds that. Uh, we have to put in a certain order to make certain words. And so that's the process. Think of, Just think of it as a computer, but it's much more integrated than just our basic home computer, our laptop or whatever. But this gal, her name is Carol Westby and she was a speech language pathologist out in the Midwest somewhere, but she really did. Study and. And help us understand how play and language and cognition and so cognition. Isn't necessarily your IQ score or your intelligence per se, but cognition is how you learn over time. How you think and how you question and how you explore and problem solve and plan and go back to the beginning and reorganize and sequence and all of those kinds of things, but that cognitive skill, your. Your ability to understand and engage in the world is learned. And shaped over time. Right in and yes, we are hardwired with certain, you know, DNA and certain inherit skills. Right. You know, an artist is an artist and an athlete is an athlete. And so we have these, this basic raw material, but cognition. can be enhanced based on your baby, your toddler, your preschoolers, early years. And, and that's one of the myths that we've kind of. Uh, exploded. Although there's a vast majority of professionals out there that still don't understand and think that. Quote-unquote intelligence, something that I refer to as cognition. Is fixed. And that simply isn't true. We know that through neuroscience now and epigenetics and all of this, and I've talked about that in previous episodes. And we'll continue, but it's important to understand how. Play skills and we'll have to define what that is, but play. And language and cognition. I really do go hand in hand. So here's. a description by Carol Westby. And she states that language and pretend play both require that a child mentally represent reality. Just as the child might realize that a doll is only a representation of a live baby or that a piece of paper can serve as adults blanket. So must she also understand that a word is not the object, but only a representation of the object? And she continues by explaining that language, however, requires more abstraction than symbolic play or pretend play. Because online play. Words do not resemble reality in any clear way. Right? The baby doll looks like a baby, right? The shape. Of a piece of paper could be similar to the shape of a blanket. But words don't resemble reality. And in play there for the symbolizes can be loosely linked together. Like you pick up a block and you pretend it's a phone. So that's. It's similar in shape and size, perhaps, but it's loosely linked based on. Some of the characteristics, but that's not true in speech and language. Right. So. In the way that play, the symbolizes can be loosely linked together and do not require the structure. Of what we call the grammatical rule, governed relationship. In words, in other words, there's a, there are rules to putting certain sounds together for English. There are rules to putting words together in a specific order. There are rules are. Our grammatical structure of how we, how we communicate right. Verbally. And you'll see your baby and toddler, they'll start out with, with whole words, like nouns and verbs, and then they'll add endings and prefixes. Right. You know, you first she'll say, oh, mama cup. Mamma cup. And then she'll say mamas cup, she'll put in that possession, but that isn't until around her second birthday. So. What's been fun in my career of 35 years of looking at how the brain learns to learn and how we use language to expand that learning. But in their early months from birth until that first birthday. And then from your first birthday to the second birthday. They're building language. So they're learning as they're building their, their human ability to communicate right. And so the way that we as therapists. And, you know, mom's even, at school people, sometimes it depends on their. They're training but we do. Recognize that play. Is. The window into what's happening inside their, their little brains. Right. And that we, if we step back and look at. How they're playing. And again, you and I need to define what play is, but we can see how they're thinking and how they're building and understanding and practicing that relationship. Whether it's with toys or with objects, you know, say they're using Tupperware and pretending they're cooking or say they're in the car seat there. And they have an imaginary steering wheel. That's what my daughter used to do. And imagine driving just like mama cause. She sits there and watches me. But we can see what they're thinking without even real words. Right. So today's episode. We're going to cover several distinct types. That can be broken down and sometimes they can be grouped together loosely. But, I'm going to identify, I think there are eight here where we look at the different stages because it's important And I think quite often, Pediatricians school-based people, even other therapists. Jump the gun and don't really understand that there were precursors or earlier steps to learning how to play and learning and building that language load before they come into quote, unquote, pretend play. they just miss that and they just, I don't know, perhaps they're just thinking that. They wake up on their second birthday or their third birthday and know how to pretend, but there are these precursors that is important that we all kind of understand. And no matter where your child is in this developmental journey, like I always say, take this information and then. Watch them from a distance or engage with them, especially during the holidays and see where they are on their personal journey. And, and these, these, um, distinct types, these different categories. We'll overlap. And so it's not a finite kind of O and M this month, they stopped doing this exploratory play and move into functional play. No, they do. Bleed into one another. So. Let's look at these first two that I mentioned. So the first one is exploratory play or what a lot of us will now call sensory motor play. And this makes sense because they're in those first several months, they're really exploring the world. And before they even reach out and explore the rattle that you want them to hold on to, they're exploring their own body, right. They're putting their, their hands and their feet in their mouth because one, the mouth gives them the most. Information because the other sensory parts. Haven't been developed enough yet the mouth is still developing of course, but, that's the best channel to, to gather information. So the first. Several months is really about. Exploratory. Starting with their own body. And then it really involves manipulating objects to learn about the property of that object. Again, they don't know the difference that this is a toy. And this is a piece of food and this is a part of mommy's body. And this is a blanket. They're just. Trying to gather data. Because they're curious and they're trying to understand. So during this early stage or first stage of sensory motor, they're going to be shaking things and banging and mouthing, like I said, and really. Trying to figure out. What is this? Is that hard? Is it soft? Is it smushy? Does it have any tastes? Does it smell funny? So the important language connection with this exploratory play or sensory motor play phase is really that. we encourage them because it supports that cause and effect. And that's one of those cognitive. Developments right. That they increase their understanding at the same time that they're increasing their early, early vocabulary, like, oh, bang, bang, bang, or shake, shake, shake. Or drop it, drop it. Right. So your putting. Action words of, vocabulary to their, their movement patterns. As well as they're building that understanding of cause and effect. Oh, if I drop it again, she's going to pick it up. Or if I shake it, it makes a noise. Or if I bang on the table, she's going to imitate me. All of those play-based engagement are helping them understand the language as well as how do I move my body in space and interact with objects in my immediate vicinity. Right. And so this exploratory phase. Is for infants and very early toddlers. As they approach. Say 10 months and 12 months, a lot of this, mouthing of toys and, and oral motor exploration starts to fade away because they have better skills of moving their body. And we can talk about that later on. But really look at those first three months in six months and nine months that a lot of this is happening. This exploratory they're just figuring out in their immediate environment and, and their environment is very small, right? It's you, or the little blanket on tummy time or it's in their crib or under, uh, a mobile or whatnot. And so they're not mobile yet, and it's not until they reach that seventh or eighth month where they're really hopefully on all fours and starting to move forward or laterally, or sometimes backwards as they're crawling. And so their world is expanding and their motor skills are expanding, but language is being wired in their brain. As they explore in these first six and eight months. So the next phase. Or. distinct type, is called functional play. And that's defined by a lot of repetitive actions using the objects. As they're intended. So they might, roll the ball or they might continue to stack up the blocks and knock them down and stack them up and knock them down. Or. You know, take things out of a bucket and dump and dump and dump there. They're more into dumping than they are into putting things in the bucket. We have to teach them that, but this functional play is really looking at the objects that they've explored. And figuring out their purpose right there. Function. Now the language connection. Is that it's reinforcing their understanding. And you and I are helping them. Learn the verbs, the function and the objects names, and putting those two things together and that's important. And that's why. We need to engage with them and interact with them to help. map the, the spoken language with the actions and the objects. And remember, I'm always saying here that if you want your two year old to explode with language, And start putting things in short sentences and short phrases, then they need a wide variety of grammatical structures, right? So they need now it's and they need verbs and they need adjectives. And that's what you're building in this functional play. And that's really. That early toddler age, right? and think of toddlers is when they start to toddle more or less kids at around their first birthday, really start. Uh, standing up and walking and moving forward on there. Very unstable legs. But that's where that functional play is. They're just getting into everything, right. They're still trying to figure out, oh my gosh, my world just expanded because I can go up on two feet and move forward. but at the same time, you have to keep them in. In a safe environment where they can explore right. Continue to explore and try out these things. What are these? Oh, this door handle opens and close opens and close this light switch on and off on and off. Right. This little button, it, it beeps every time I push it. So they're looking, looking to understand how all of these things within their reach. Works. Right. And that's what functional play is. It's just a lot of repetition and it drives you crazy, but is building their understanding. It's building their language, their network, and it's putting ideas together and they're exploring. And they're curious, and we don't want to stunt that. Right. And so keep that in mind in this first. 12 months and 24 months, especially as I mentioned. It's the holiday season and they really just need simple things to explore, like Tupperware and pots and pans and, simple little. tools to dig in the dirt and those kinds of very real life function kinds of things. And so think of that as, as you're moving forward and in the holiday season, right. So number three. I would be constructive play. And that is. Really. The older toddlers. So I'd say two and a half all the way through preschoolers. And the, and just like, it sounds it's much more constructive. And so this, this type of plays described as creating or building something that's when they're interested in puzzles or building towers with a purpose, right. Or putting. Animals or little. Small people in vehicles or, the barn or those kinds of things that are much more constructive. And they like to also do things. like the farm set or the, like I said, the, the little people or a bus or an airplane or a Dolly, in a baby carriage or those kinds of things that often will reflect what they are seeing in their environment. Now, the language connection in this type of constructive play really begins to introduce them to spatial awareness and descriptive vocabulary. So you, you can talk about the size and the shape. You know, prior to that you're building nouns and verbs. Right. And then it's really a lot more. sit next to, or put the box under the table. So a lot more. I have this three dimensional play, as, as they're really putting things together and creating things, whether it's outside and, Just making a big pile of leaves and jumping in it or a snowman or those kinds of things. But this constructive play they're really. Honing in on their, their motor development. Right? So a brand new two year old is still a little uneasy with climbing on things or his fine motor skills with building things, but even a two and a half, six months later is much more developed and much more capable. And so their interests are going to expand. And your building that language connect. Connection. Based on what they're doing based on what their play is. And I think that that's really, really key is to understand that. You and I define it. Our call it play, but that's, that's their job. That's, that's what they're wired to do. God said, okay, little body. once you get through the birth canal and survive these first couple of months and feel secure and happy and loved and, and finding a routine, then you're going to learn how to. How to become a family member and a, and a little person in your small community. Step-by-step The process, right. And, and you're going to do it. And. In activities I E play that are fun. That reflect real life. That you feel like whoa, mama is stirring in this pot. I can stir the pot too. Or, I see men out there, you know, with big machinery and their. Climbing up ladders. Will I have a truck here too? I have a big machine. they're really. Looking out in the environment and starting to practice what they see, what they hear, what, what people are encouraging them to do. So that's how language is built. Bye. Exploring and feeling and touching your, giving them the language with what they're doing, right. Or there, whether they're crawling or learning to walk or crawl up a ladder or learning how to do a Teeter totter, or a swing, those kinds of things, building puzzles and your engaged with them and talking with them and helping them understand that language connection. At the same time, there. Expanding their curiosity expanding. Oh, I didn't get that puzzle. Right. Let me try it again. Or, oh gosh, I can put three of these blocks together, but the fourth one topples everything over. Now, they're not thinking about it consciously like you and I would sit down to do a math problem. They're thinking about it through experience and that's what that experiencial learning means that they need to experience. And they need to fail. And we learn best by our mistakes. If we keep doing. Something. And always getting it right. Then one, we get bored and two, it doesn't expand our skillset. And so keep that in mind, as you're looking once again at different toys or different, different activities to do with your little ones. That we want to always be pushing that envelope. And that's that 80 20 rule that can be used here, right? The 80% is going to be repetitive. And then you have to stretch the horizon a little bit, 20% of the time. So the next play level would, number four would be pretend, play or symbolic play. And that is quite often where everybody jumps to. And that really is the preschool level. And I think we, as a society, Culture. Um, you know, do our kids a disservice because we're expecting two year olds to do a lot of this pretend play. And they're just not ready yet. They're doing a lot of parallel play at two and. It's really that preschool age, closer to three and a half and four. Or three, I'd say even an early three, three and a half and four, where they're really doing that, pretend play in that is defined as, involving imagination as you're probably very aware of and role playing. And so you have to have enough sophisticated language. You also have to have enough of social maturity. And so a two year old is still very egocentric. They're still really looking. Into themselves and that you mama and daddy and grandma and big brother or something, you're just there to help me get what I want. But at three their language. And their understanding of relationships have expanded. And their memory and an ability that frontal lobe. Is really starting to take some shape. Where, You can help them understand. Okay. Two more turns. And then we have to put it away and, and get ready for bed. It really does help. With a narrative skills, enriches the vocabulary on all level. Um, on all levels and that they're beginning to really understand social roles. as well as their ability to express some abstract ideas. And, and it's interesting to watch, like in, in the early pretend play. They really will just model things that they see in the immediate environment. Like I said, you know, cooking or digging or taking care of the baby. And then as they really reach that four year old at three and a half to four and close to what I called that the true preschooler is that then they'll be able to. Imagine. Uh, and taking on roles. Through something that they've already experienced, but not in the immediate context. So for example, that's where they might pretend to be a doctor or pretend to be a fireman or pretend to be a teacher, because they've been in those situations or they've seen a fireman, you maybe they visited the fire station or the, you know, of course they've gone to the. The doctor's office. Um, and so they can play those roles and it's not you know, I'm not in the kitchen pretending to cook beside my mama or, putting the baby. To bed, like I've done a thousand times with, with my own parents, right. That they really do. Have more abstract and then they can fantasize to closer to that fourth and fifth birthday. And they really then pretend, to be, a superhero or pretend to be a fairy or pretend to, Be a deep sea diver or whatever. And then they become fantastic. Right? They're abstract ideas expand, and that's, that's really huge between that third birthday. And then that fifth birthday. But these preschoolers really, are much more social and much more capable. Of navigating these social situations. And again, I think we often expect our two year old or our young three-year-old to be able to do that. And they just don't have. The maturity, right? The social maturity, but they also don't have the language and the understanding to navigate that successfully. And you see. Of course, you put them in those situations, but you support that. You help them take turns, you help them share, Johnny wants to be the fireman. You're going to be the bus driver or whatever the role playing is. Right. And so you can take turns after that. So you will often have to help them. navigate that. If there are a new three-year-old. Now number five in these play. stages is that social play. And I touched upon that. But, it's defined as. Involving a lot more other people hence the name, right. Social and including more cooperative games and group activities. So again, this is a little bit different. There might be rules involved, say this T-ball or you're playing kickball or. you know, even go fish or UNO. If you're teaching them board games, that is really important. To help them. Understand that. This is. An opportunity to spend time with other people, right. And to play. And that is it's not about winning and losing, but, but more importantly, it really is about. Having fun. And that's the true definition. and I know I've on here. I've talked before about. Uh, Stuart Brown's work about how he defines play and that's a whole nother podcast episode, but, it's really true play. Can look like work to somebody else. Right? Like I really like researching and writing. And so I could look at that as play right. Or somebody, who likes to build a house, could look at that as play where somebody else's. Oh my gosh. That's. Heavy labor and that's hard work, right. But. What we want to do through the, the, this stage of social play is to help them. Enjoy the process, right. To learn how to be part of a team. Or two. To follow the rules and understand that it's just for fun. the language connection in social play really does promote that conversational turn-taking and being able to negotiate. You know, think about. On the playground, right. To take. Turns, whether it's on the Teeter totter or, tee-ball, like I said, those kinds of games where you have to negotiate. And understand your role. And also it builds on understanding social cues, like facial expressions and tone of voice. And, and so you can think about that with big group activities like T-ball or something. Um, or you can think about it if you're sitting on the table and, and playing, uh, A board game. It's important to help them. For example, like if someone picks up a card and they smile, then you say, oh, I see that smile. That must be you got something you wanted, it matches and go fish or something. So you help them understand facial expressions and tone of voice. and, but it's a very subtle and yet dynamic. If those two words can co-exist in the same process, but it really does enrich their, their social skills, their language. Uh, understanding, through this play action. So now the next level would be physical play. And you might be saying to yourself, oh, isn't this all physical play. Yes, but again, when, when we relate these place stages or steps, and with language it's important to look at play requires us to do something right. So physical play. Level six. Really requires a lot of gross motor. and like I said, in the very beginning, a lot of these things overlap. Right. So was social play. If you're learning how to play T-ball Or, whatever social game, you're playing. There is a physical aspect to it, of course, but these require the gross motor, like running and jumping and climbing and that kind of thing. Even, even tag. Helps us understand and learn through the actions. Right. And so the language connection with this really helps kids. understand action-oriented vocabulary like, oh, you almost touched him when you're playing tag, right? Oh, I got so close. Uh, and it fosters, encouragement and it fosters a shared activity, like, oh, just run a little faster and you'll get to first base. Right. And, and it's. Is expanding their language, expanding their, Their social communication. And, and you're learning it in real time. And that, and that's the key, I think when, when we look at social play and physical play, That. They're really learning that process in real time. And that's important because that solidifies it and in our brains. And then tomorrow when we go to play it again, Then we'll have kind of problem solved it when we sleep at night and, and you're like, oh yeah, I know if I just run a little bit faster whatever the activity is, but, The whole idea is, oh, I know what this feels like in my body to push up on the teeter-totter or to, play duck, duck goose, or, or musical chairs or those kinds of things where. I've experienced it both in my body and in my mind, and I've kind of colored it with language. And so now I'm going to be a little bit better today or next week or next month. Right? And so it's important to, to understand social and physical play do go hand in hand and it crosses a lot of ages. Right? Of course we start at two, right? You play a little tag. you play matching games. So you start to introduce these things. At two, they have richer language yet. they still need a lot of support because they don't have that social, emotional maturity yet. So they can't play these games on their own, but with support they can. And then by that fourth birthday, in that fifth birthday, they're alert. A lot more independent with it. Right. And, and we have to adapt these, the social. Experiences based on their developmental understanding and social, emotional. Readiness. And then I've already talked about this a little bit, but, But it has a different category and it's that fantasy play, right? Cause we talked about pretend play, and a lot of that will model what we do in real life. And then the fantasy is really. defined as how it expands beyond real life scenarios, Including, make believe worlds and make believe characters. And, and that's really fun to watch. And that's really not until they're closer to five and six since predominantly. at that preschool and those early elementary years. and, but then it can be carried on of course, Because fantasy is, oh, yes. I want to play in the school play. Or you take on roles for early debate or those kinds of things. So it can certainly the language that's connected to this fantasy play. Really. Develops advanced storytelling, right. And creative language. And an imagination, maybe there some, one who really reads a lot of fantasy books. That was my daughter. and so she had a lot of imagination in her own head. But it also really supports problem solving and being able to use language. To negotiate, to, uh, convince other people to do certain things. And, and it's really fascinating to watch. Kids who have kind of a rich fantasy life that they, they do tell pretty great stories and they do tend to be better. Communicators, And a social level. But it's predominantly preschoolers. and as I said, it can carry out. these become, the directors of the, of the play or, people who write books or. Can also build. Things build houses and structures and, imagine something, in this property or imagine. Building a new software or those kinds of things. And so those individuals can take it to the next level. But it starts very, very young, right. Um, and again, like I've said before, we have our, our different temperaments. We have our different styles. We just want to give every child the opportunity to go through the stages. And, you know, some kids are like, eh, I'm not going to do that. that fantasy play. I, you know, I want to, go ride my bike and be more pragmatic and grounded that's okay. But you want to perhaps. imagine through storytelling or imagined not necessarily screen time, because that gives them that visual and they, they don't imagine themselves. So you want to give them a lot of opportunities when you read. More. enriching. Uh, storybooks when they're a little bit older, right? But, but I think you, you see beyond that, three-year-old here. I, I try to focus, but, Your building up to that six year old and seven year old and beyond. With, with these kinds of Playbase because you do introduce it when they're two and three and four. And so it might not be part of their natural human nature, but you want. Again, to give them the opportunity. And then the eighth one really looking at play. Is, game-based and again, we start it when they're young. You know, by taking turns, by spinning the di by asking, you know, do you have an elephant, um, in go fish or those kinds of things, but the game-based really is defined as a structured activity with rules. Like I said, with board games or simple card games. And it's all about following the rules and taking turns. And, and that's very hard for three-year-olds. So don't set yourself up. It doesn't mean that you don't go there. It just means that playing in teams or, give him or her a lot of support. And the language that's connected with all of this is to build an understanding of the rules. Oh, you know, Mommy just went, she took her turn, who is next? So to understand how you, you, take your turns around the table, Or, I have an elephant and you have an elephant. Are they the same? And oh, they go together. so they match. And so if you're playing go fish and so, the strategy behind this board game or the simple card game, the social communication. It is competition, but it's a healthy competition, right? It could also be a team. Oh, it's me. Mommy and Tommy and it's daddy and Susie, and we're a team, right. We're going to play against each other. so there's a lot of. Rich language, understanding of how things are broken down. If it's a formal activity, just like in the kitchen. Oh, Before we, Put in the milk. If we're making a cake or something, we have to beat the eggs. Right. So there are steps involved. And so this is where that language connection, what do you do first? What do you do next? And so the game-based, again, you start very young, closer to that. Third birthday is typical, and then you just move beyond from preschoolers and beyond. again, thinking of the holidays, thinking of games, thinking of presents that you might be interested. Think about how. These different, Distinct types. Really can help you. You. Make your selection and not to overdo it a lot of times is, is keeping it simple, right? So the first one was exploratory play. So if you have a baby or an infant, and I think you already know this, they're just going to explore, but they don't need a lot of different things. They actually need time with you more than newer and newer and newer things. so a handful of toys that are safe to put in their mouth and a lot of tummy time. And a lot of time with you, mama and daddy and, and grandparents, right. Number two would, is that functional play that they're really just trying to figure out what the heck this thing does. Oh, the ball rolls, but the block doesn't write. And then there's constructive play where they are beginning to put things together, like simple puzzles. And then the pretend play where it's really a symbol. That, represents something they're pretending to put the baby to bed. They're pretending to drive the car. They're pretending. To, dig a ditch. but then that really starts to bleed into more social. Play. And it's around that third birthday where they're really interested and able to play with others. and there's more cooperation and this title is all about cooperation and you can see how these play skills. Really help build that understanding. Because in the very beginning, of course, it's all about me, me, me, right? That's what an infant is all about. And an early toddler, right. That one year old and exploring, what can I do? What can I feel? What can I learn today? Right. And then they slowly. In time, engage with you, engage with other kids. And then expand upon that. Pretend play and then social play and physical play and fantasy play. And then game-based plight. Right. And so. Keep that in mind. And for these next couple of episodes, I will continue and look more closely at how play skills and language go hand in hand and how I, as a therapist like these last couple of weeks, I've been meeting with new moms and. And, the kids are very chatty with strangers, but I've been able to understand where they, the little children are the two year old and the almost three-year-old by how they play and how they respond in a play-based setting. Right. We just had toys on the floor and. but I could really see how. They're curious and how they understand how little puzzle pieces went together. Or how, they were able to use gestures. Based on their quote unquote play. and so I could understand that, oh, there. They're understanding everything. They follow directions. Well, they, know how to, wait their turn and all of these kinds of cognitive and language based skills, but they're just not really chatty Kathy's. Outside of their comfort at home. Right. And so that, that can be very common. and so, you know, one of the most important thing is, is to rule things out oh, all of the other elements of language are developing, but their articulation, their speech production, that physical part of talking isn't as developed as we would like. And so we really do we as therapists and hopefully. Uh, you know, school-based people understand that connection that play and language are really symbiotic, right. And symbiotic means that they. Are two different things. But go together. So we also understand that if there are delays in play and in future episodes, I'll talk about what that looks like. But if there are. Delays in their play ability, then we can most likely suspect that there are delays in language, right. So just kind of keep that in mind that before your child is able to use language, they must be able to represent reality with other symbols. And that's. what play is, right? Cause like I said, in the very beginning words are symbols. They represent, oh, apple. Okay. That I can pretend to, to hold this, you know, round red ball and I can pretend that that's an apple in my play. And then the symbol for it in words is apple. It's not banana is not, it could be fruit, but it's more specific if I say apple, right. And. So those words are symbols, just like an, a demonstration. Like if I'm going to swing a golf club or shoot a basket, that's a gesture. Or a symbol that represents, I want to go to the park and, play basketball. the important part is that we see toddlers first learn to use symbols and representation in play before. Or. In real life, it's almost simultaneous, right? That round that second birthday where they're really putting more words together. There play begins to expand. when we want kids to put two and three words together, to be able to say, mommy coat off. Right. Like, mommy's coming home and she's taking her coat off and she's going to stay here for the evening. That that will develop or really explode as their imaginative play, where they can put the coat on and they put the hat on and they pretend they're going to work. Right. So they're demonstrating it through their physical activity. I E play and then they begin to be able to say it. Symbolically through their words. There's been so much excellent study. In the last 30 to 50 years, connecting play and language and cognition development over time. And I just want to emphasize to new moms that, helping them learn the stages through experience with you at home, keeping it simple on those first three, four years, even five years, right? They don't need a lot of stuff for Christmas. They need some basic. Tools right. Or toys or whatnot, but they really want to have that experience with you and keep that in mind as you go forth, we'll continue the conversations and diving in. And how you can best support your child no matter where they are on this journey. I'll give examples and more specific ages and types of simple. Toys activities. Game. Play-based learning experiences that Doesn't have to break the bank and doesn't really require a lot of gadgets. So. Keep it simple. how fun with your little one talk, talk, talk, sing, sing, sing. It's Christmas time. So do a lot of Christmas caroling. I appreciate your time, your precious time. I know that you have a lot of things on your plate. But, keep it simple and I'll see you next time. Thanks. Take care. Bye.