Embracing Our Gifts: A Personal Journey to Serve New Mamas

In this week’s episode of Talking Toddlers, I open up about a deeply personal belief: that each of us has been blessed with unique gifts to share with the world, and those gifts are part of a greater plan. 

I share how I discovered mine—and how it has become my life’s mission to support and empower new mamas on their journey to nurture the next generation.

Parenting is the most important learning-on-the-job role we’ll ever have. 

Yet it’s also the most rewarding when we show up with purpose, ready to grow and adapt. 

I want to encourage all parents to be intentional, courageous, and open to guidance when the path seems uncertain.

Through my own story, I’ll reflect on the importance of choosing to engage with our children in meaningful, thoughtful ways. 

As you listen, I hope you find comfort and inspiration, especially if you’re worried about what lies ahead for your family. 

Together, let’s embrace our gifts and face the future with faith, love, and a shared sense of purpose.

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Transcript

0:00

the reason why I feel particular drive and urgency to, to share this this week is because

Erin: 0:12

Hello, and welcome to Talking Toddlers, where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're going to cover all of that, but here, our goal is to develop clarity, because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind. He's thriving through your guidance. We know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started.

0:54

This week, I sat down to review. View a great book, the power of showing up by. By Dr. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne, Bryson. it's a beautiful book. And I really thought. I thought I could pull out some key elements, especially as they focus. On these. These four pillars. To help your. Child or children in your family feel safe to be seen. Seen to be soothed. And to feel so. Secure but as I sat down to review this. This book. And started to write some notes in my thoughts. Thoughts. I just thought it was kind of ironic this particular. Time. In our lives, that many of us, especially our. Our children. Are still recovering. From four years ago. Meaning. This particular episode would. B. Published the week of. Of the elections and I realized. Looking back at these four years of how my life. Has changed. And how I want to show. Show up differently. And so when I started to look at this book, the power. Of showing up of you parents. And, you know, I'm still. Uh, parent she's 24 years old is a different kind of parenting. Niche for sure. And I'm learning on the job I assure. Are you. But. You know, I started to reflect. Correct on what was happening in 2020. Where. There the, the lockdowns, the, the separation. The uncertainty. As well as all of. This political electional divisive. Of rhetoric was being plummeted upon us. every time we turned turned around. so in preparing. For this particular episode. I really. I wanted to show up differently for you One of the primary reasons is because I don't think it's healthy to ignore the elephant in the room, or in this case, we have several elephants in the room, and as I said, I, I still think so many of us, especially our Children, any child that is, say, seven and under, is Still feeling the effects of what we did to the world ourselves, you know, four years ago in 2020 and beyond. And, people in my industry, we actually have a term for those quote unquote COVID babies that we're just, I feel unfortunately that we're just accepting that they were born in. a period of this world that was challenging and that they're going to have to live with it. Um, and that's one of the primary reasons I started to really pivot and think about what can I do differently? You know, as I looked in our communities, looking at different states, looking at the nation and the world at large. And, and I really, I knew in my heart of hearts and, conversations both publicly and privately, that many things were shifting and that we were a part of history or we are a part of history. And I think many of us, including myself, started to wake up or started to take the blinders off. and I'll admit, even when. I was younger in the eighties and nineties. that was when I was building my career and went to college. I lived in a bubble there in Southern California. And then in 2000, when I had my baby and I was freshly married and things were beautiful, I lived in a bubble. And then we moved to Vermont and we decided to raise our child, in beautiful Vermont in the country. And I created a new kind of bubble. And so I realized In early 2020, and then especially as the election hit us there in that toward the end of the year that I had to pull my head out of this bubble out of the sand, so to speak, and there was a lot more for me. And like I said in the beginning, I'm just showing up today on this election season and trying to be more authentic. So we can all get on the same page and align with one another. Or if you don't feel like I do, then you know, perhaps I'm not the person you necessarily want or choose to follow. But I feel. I cannot live in this bubble anymore, right? And that I, had questions about our school systems and our medical communities at large for the last 20 years. And there were many of us in my field, and I've shared this before, that we would talk privately, or we would talk behind the scenes, that we knew things were shifting for our children and not for the better. We were in the thick of it, and we understood through everyday families Every day, literally talking about the challenges about development and how to navigate this, this modern world and who to listen to and how do you as a brand new family start to not only You know, make hard choices, but also feel very, very secure in those choices. And that's one of the hardest steps, I think. And then I started to reflect on my own life and I thought, Erin, I have to make hard choices to, and speak on your behalf, but also to speak what's in my heart. so. In my industry, there were pockets of people, speech language pathologists, occupational therapists, orthodontic breathing specialists, chiropractors that really looked and, and realized that we, we had to think outside the box. And, and again, I've shared this with you before, but I, I, I, today, my purpose here is to show up and be very clear with who I am and what my mission is. So, These past four years, and really I would say eight to 12 years, I began to shine the light on these concerns a little bit more boldly. looking at the school systems, like I said, the health care protocols, the family dynamics, the food industry, social constructs, and then, the everyday bombardment of Of the media and the social media, right? The, the mainstream classic television media, and then what we choose individually of who to follow, whether it's on Instagram or X or Twitter or whatever you want to call it or YouTube. the reason why I feel particular drive and urgency to, to share this this week is because I want to encourage you, you, new mom, new dad, new grandparents, to show up differently, to do it differently. And if I ask you to do that, to stand up and speak on behalf of your family, then I would be a hypocrite if I didn't do that. So that's why I'm standing up a little bit More clear or with a little bit more intention, which is my word for the year, And I've shared this in the in the past that my private practice for 30 plus years 35 years Really allowed me to stay quiet To play small, to hide, to live in that bubble, as I referenced, and people would come to me and we would have open conversations, we would look at the possibilities and I would be honest because that was what they were asking me for, that's what they were paying me for, for my time. My best clinical impression, my honesty, and I would lay it on the table and they would either accept it or deny it and nothing was personal. But even through COVID, I kept small, right? I kept my private practice running. And the truth is, I served many more kids, and they were significantly younger, without any restrictions. I could not, with good conscience, see kids, or work with kids, toddlers, toddlers, toddlers. or myself wearing a mask. So we never ever did that. And the reason was, is it went against everything I stood for, everything I learned and studied about human communication, about neuroplasticity, about what babies and toddlers and preschoolers are, are needing most, which is human connection. And if you put, A mask on your face, then we were in my best professional opinion, harming them. we were putting barriers between him and the world that would inhibit or compromise his ability to learn and grow and develop. And the interesting thing is that families kept coming, they kept calling, they kept scheduling. And I swear. Never, never did anyone question once a new family came, into my office and I said, Oh, you don't have to wear the mask. I never said take it off. I just said, in order for me to do this right and properly and serve your child and your family the best, I don't ask to do this. And no one's said anything. Most people said, Oh, thank goodness, because I think. Those moms and dads that came to see me, especially the new ones with the 16, 18, 20 month olds, really knew in their heart what was right. They knew what a healthy development looked like. They knew what their son or daughter needed. And that was that instinct telling them. And in my opinion, that's the Holy Spirit talking to us. What's right? What's God given? And this human voice in connection with our little babies and our toddlers and a preschoolers. That's what they need. This three dimensional world, human touch and auditory perception and clarity and eye contact and facial expressions and mouth movements. All of that. And so, the truth is, no one ever really questioned it. I had one family in those three and a half years that asked before they came. And I shared what my belief was, and they decided to not follow through with the evaluation. And that's fine. That was one. in dozens and dozens and dozens of new families. And the reason why I'm talking about four years ago is because now we're in the middle of it once again. And as I said, this episode is going to be released the week of the election, and I just want to put it out there. That no matter what the outcome, and I'm not sharing, you know, my political beliefs at all, but I am sharing no matter what the outcome, I choose both personally and professionally to stay true to my mission. And that mission, I believe, was given to me by God. Our Holy Father gives each and every single one of us gifts, duties, obligations that we share with this world. And I think, you know, I've been a pretty lukewarm Christian, a lukewarm steward of my gifts. Meaning, I built some practices, both in California and Vermont. I helped hundreds and hundreds of families over the years. I felt good about what I was doing, but I wasn't always bold enough. And now, my mission is telling me My heart, my instinct, I believe the Holy Spirit is talking to me through little nudges here and there and those quiet whispers in the morning in prayer and meditation that I need to speak louder. more clearly to you, new mom and dad and new grandparents. So then I can be a better guide for you and whether you believe in God or a higher power. I think I heard this from a young beautiful girl. It was years ago. I can't remember where I'll, I'll find it. But she said that a relative of hers, Once shared that even if there wasn't a God or if Jesus really didn't exist, and we were living our life, practicing the Bible, studying his word, even if that wasn't true, and it was all made up, then It's still a good thing because who wouldn't want to live closer in alignment with Jesus to do, to follow those 10 commandments, to do the right thing, you know, that the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That is a good person. And that's what my husband has always shared because you know, he's a scientist at heart and knows that there's a higher spirit. What isn't quite clear in, in his mind, what that is or what that isn't, but has always said, you know, if we all just simply lived by the 10 commandments, call them whatever you want and the golden rule, then we would all be better off, right? We would all be better neighbors and. healthier and stronger family members and community leaders and all of this. So my point here is about the power of showing up and you know, in a later episode I will definitely talk about this book from Dr Siegel and Dr Bryson, but the subtitle reads how parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired. And that's really what my talk and my work has been for 35 years, looking at the neuroscience, looking at this modern world of what we've learned through a lot of good, hard trial and error. Right. A lot of science or the vast majority of science is questioning and trying to dig deeper. And then how that reflects how God designed this world to be and how us humans show up and the choices that we make and that on any given day, any given moment, we can choose to show up differently. We can draw the line in the sand and say, I'm going to try it a different way because the way that I've been trying it isn't working. And so again, this particular time in our life, I want to assure you that, I believe my duty is to support you, to guide you through these first several years to help you navigate, stay on track as much as possible. So keep it pure and simple. You know, to share some of the science that I've learned and, and my trials and errors on the floor playing with kids and navigating family dynamics, but to really support you to prevent developmental delays. Because I've shared with you in the past how the numbers are escalating. Whether you want to admit it or not, but all you have to do is, Google or jump on the CDC. The numbers are escalating. And I think sometimes they're even, underrepresented, but part of my mission is to help you navigate through this modern world to mitigate any of its negative effects and to really at the end of the day, keep things simple. You know, my three pillars under this domain of talking toddlers is of course, speech and language, right? Talking. But we build those skills through healthy eating. and growth and development through nutrition, but also the physical act of learning how to bite and chew and swallow. And then that social communication of sharing meals together. And I've talked about that in numerous episodes, but I even think biting and chewing was in the previous episode. But then what play actually means and how our children's job Is to plays to learn through play and how by studying children over the last, you know, in my lifetime, 35 plus years, but looking at other people's work like Dr. Siegel's work here. I love his work. He, you may be more familiar with, one of the bestselling books, the whole brain child. That's a pretty common. I think that was written, gosh, um, 20 years ago, maybe, but. Basically, to bring it back to some common sense. And so my episodes really revolve around that. To build routines, to build sleep habits, healthy sleep habits, that your baby gets 10 to 12 hours and you get 8 Eight hours of sleep and that during that, that's rest and recovery. And there are many, neurological things happening during sleep cycles. And we can, we can talk about that, but to build those routines, to get sunlight every day. Again, I believe that God designed this world purposefully and that the sun gives us nourishment with vitamin D and it makes us feel strong and healthy and you only need 10, 15 minutes depending on your skin type and where you live, but to eat real food. And I talk a lot about that to avoid ultra processed foods and it stems from nutrition of course, but it literally. sets the stage for temperament and ability to sustain attention or sleep patterns. All of it is interwoven, but to eat real food, to share those meals together, to build that family connection, to teach one another, to cook together, to read together, all of these things, to plan and organize events together. Let's go shopping. Let's do this recipe. Then let's go. Let's cook it together and then let's eat it together and then let's clean up together. All of those. And then a few more of these simple, basic common sense to play games with your babies and toddlers and preschoolers, to sing songs, to read books, to talk about your daily activities, to share what you did, what went right, what went wrong, how, what did you learn from it? to go for walks. Again, get some sunshine, but you know, get your hands dirty, get your feet dirty, take off those shoes with those really thick soles, feel the ground, the earth, the magnetism. The sand, the dirt, the rocks, sticks, right? Always be safe. You don't want to hurt your feet or cut them. To run around in safe grass is freeing, but it also helps neurologically wire our system. to climb trees or to skip stones, all of that. And then to, to pray. And if you aren't a prayer, then meditate, find quiet time, listen to, to soft music, to just listen to the wind. All of these things, to breathe through your nose, to have good oral motor posture. I talk a lot about that and I did that in the previous episode with biting and chewing, but also feeding your babies and what we're doing in those activities. You know, I've studied the neuroscience, but after years and years and years, it just makes common sense to me how it all fits together, how it's all interrelated. And notice all of these things that I mentioned. These, the, this lifestyle and these things that I wish for you, they don't cost money. They cost some time and patience, right? With the exception of good, healthy food and a few books, right? But I'm not, I'm not a big advocate of. Tons and tons of toys and gadgets and you know how I feel about screen time and for our little ones They need you and there are some don'ts but today I want to focus on everything that we can do what our choices are What's possible and it's these simple things Sunshine playing outside in the grass laughing singing songs Wrestling, rough and tumble play, right? So that's what triggered me when I started looking at Dr. Siegel's work, The Power of Showing Up. And I think the first step is, is to listen to your heart. Where are you? What do you think? What are your expectations? And I know that becoming a new parent is so beautiful and loving and deep that it's, almost indescribable. But it's also exhausting and overwhelming and frustrating, right? And we don't know what we don't know. And we don't know until we're there. And a dad recently, this is a couple of weeks ago, shared with me in an email how much harder it actually turned out. And he had a, One month old, he recognized how exhausting and overwhelming it was. And, that he didn't really anticipate it being so much work and, and yet he was able to say, as he heard himself kind of walk through this, that. He knows this chapter will be over soon, right? That this too shall pass. And yes, pretty soon they'll be sitting up in the high chair and sharing a meal with you at six, seven, eight months old. And then he'll be crawling and his world will change, right? Once your baby becomes mobile, whether they're crawlers and then they become good walkers. That's a another whole chapter. And so we're really only talking about at least six month blocks. And this dad, Was able to to get in touch enough to say that he was eager to learn About each of these chapters each of these stages and that he was open and willing to try new things Things that he never thought like singing nursery rhymes. He goes I never thought in a billion years I would ever do that, but here I am, you know singing O McDonald for the umpteenth time and then Knowing that he wanted to really become that role model that his son deserves and that He thought a lot about that as his wife, you know Progressed in her pregnancy and they would talk about those kinds of things and he reflected back on his own Relationship with his dad which wasn't all that good And he goes, how can I do it differently? How can I show up differently? And I said, well, You're you're doing it right now. You're talking about it. You're thinking about it. You're planning ahead. You're willing to look at Your, your current situation and, and be willing to change. Like I said, every day, every minute we can draw a line in the sand and say, okay, I'm going to do it differently, or I'm going to do it better, I'm going to let go of my worry and just be me. More present. So my message today for those that are listening and thinking about, huh, where was I four years ago? And no matter what happens, this week, I still have a beautiful baby to raise, to love, to guide, to nurture. And how can we all show up and be present one step at a time, your baby. Your toddler, your preschooler, whatever age they are, they need you more than anything or any other person, at any age. It might not feel that way when they're teenagers, but right now? And that's why when I, when I listed out simple things to do that are really common sense to sing nursery rhymes, to play duck duck goose, to blow bubbles in the bathtub, to teach him how to brush his teeth, to, you know, teach him how to zip a coat, which is one of the trickiest things for toddlers, but all of those things are learning opportunities, opportunities to be present, build connection, And so listen to that heart, that voice inside your heart. That's great insight of telling you, Where should I be? What should I be focusing on? no matter what tomorrow holds, our children, your child, I believe it's a beautiful gift and we are their stewards. We are responsible for teaching them and guiding them and nurturing them and loving them. And it's not that complicated. It is overwhelming. It's exhausting. It's mind boggling sometimes, but it's not really complicated or at least it shouldn't be. And that's what I believe. we've got this. We are incredibly blessed to live in this beautiful country to have many, many, many, many freedoms and choices. It is not perfect and I'm not Advocating one way or the other, because I think that's a personal choice. I believe, we all have a voice, and that now that you're a parent, and that you're in charge of this family, whether it's one or two or three little babies, that there's a lot at risk. And I, I pray every single day for. The ability to critically think, to discern, to make choices that we have leaders and mentors and coaches and that they are shining a light of how to be the best version of yourself. And I know this is cliche, but it's true. If we can continually strive to be better and better versions of ourselves, because we'll never be the best, right? But it's just, we're always Striving to do better and to admit when we make a mistake. And I think, you know, part of my mistake was that I stayed in that bubble and that protective private practice shell. And it's even taken me, these four years from 2020 to now to, to feel comfortable speaking what's on my heart. And that's, my message today, to know that we have always a choice, even when they feel there are no choices or we don't like any of those choices. we can choose what's in our heart. We can choose to show up with openness and willingness and compassion. And then your children will benefit. And they will know what kind of loving, caring, present parent you are. you choose to be. So God bless. Have a great, great week. And like I said, no matter what happens, we're in it together through thick and thin and greatness and struggle. But that's part of life. It is not meant to be perfect ever, right? I don't think that's what God's intention was. That's not what I'm reading in the Bible. It is simply use the opportunities in front of us to be better. Stronger to be more loving. Compassionate. Go back to those 10 commandments. Think of the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So even if you aren't a believer or if you're on the fence, look at those and we'll all be a little brighter tomorrow. Okay, so God bless. Take care. Thanks for your precious, precious time.