Dinner Without Drama: 10 Tested Strategies to Tackle Picky Eating in Modern Families

Are you tired of mealtime meltdowns and battles over broccoli?

In this episode of Talking Toddlers, we delve into the heart of the picky eating epidemic affecting over 60% of families today. 

Join me, Erin, with over 35 years of clinical practice and real-life experience, as I share 10 PROVEN strategies to transform dinner time from a battleground into a peaceful, enjoyable family experience.

Discover practical tips and expert advice designed to help you set the stage for successful family meals. 

Learn how to navigate the complexities of modern lifestyles and create positive mealtime habits that will benefit your child's development and well-being. 

Feel the sense of peace and accomplishment as you help your toddler become an active participant in the kitchen, fostering a love for food and family. 

Don't miss this essential episode—it's time to reclaim your dinner table and foster a healthy relationship with food for your little ones - and the whole family.

Tune in and empower yourself with the knowledge and confidence to handle picky eating like a pro!

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Julie Matthews is a Certified Nutrition Consultant that holds a masters degree in medical nutrition. She is a globally respected nutrition expert, published researcher, award-winning author, and inspirational educator. Her guidance is backed by over twenty years of clinical experience and scientific research with complex neurological and physiological needs; particularly autism.

https://nourishinghope.com/

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Transcript

Erin: 0:00

I think parents, especially in this day and age, somehow Perhaps commercials or rumors or whatever. Somehow we think a child because they're growing, they're learning, they're developing. They can never be hungry. And that's just simply not true. You're not going to starve your child. You're going to say, honey, dinner's going to be ready in 20 minutes. You could wait. It's okay to come to the table Hello and welcome to Talking Toddlers, where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're going to cover all of that, but here, our goal is to develop clarity, because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind. He's thriving through your guidance. We know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started. So picky eating has become so common these days, that approximately 50% of all preschoolers. And 30% of all kids under 16 Are identified as being a picky eater. So you might think, oh, that's just typical. That's to be expected. Kids are temperamental. I'm picky, but that's not true. It's really a new phenomenon and being in the industry of kids and early development and helping kids learn how to talk and learn how to eat. It's really changed over the last 20 years. I can see it. So, like I said, toddlers might be temperamental and they might be choosy and even selective here and there with what they want to eat or when they want to eat. But the current trends suggest that we adults, the grownups in the room really need to be much more mindful of how we introduce solid foods. And then share those adult foods at the table with our children as a family. That's where they learn. So in other episodes, in this past year, I've really dove deep into introducing solids and sharing some very specific do's and don'ts. And more importantly, why, why is it so important to get it right? Or get them back on track as soon as possible. And I really did cover out length across several episodes and I will have the links down below, so they're easy to access, but the first one is titled 15 proven strategies to stop picky eaters. In their tracks and it's actually a three-part series. It was published on April 18th. April 27th and May 3rd. And then I also did an episode on the number one secret to avoid having a picky eater. And that was published on August 15th. So. At the end of the day, we can all admit that this is a huge piece that you, as a new mom, you as a new family really need. To set a plan. And figure out how to do this. Winging it. Is it working right? Like I said, in the last 10, 15, 20 years, the numbers have skyrocketed. And once you get through those first, say several months, it's critical, then you start the plan early that you preplan, what am I going to do when he's ready at six months, give or take right. Most children. And in those episodes in the past, I've talked about what are the prerequisites to know that your child is ready to sit in the high chair safely. And take. You know, new tastes, new flavors, new textures, and learn. Through your guidance, how to actually eat and become a healthy eater. And the correlation between chewing and sucking and swallowing and all of that oral motor. Planning and organization. Really does correlate with how early speech sounds and early sounds are also working at the same time. So I highly recommend the relatively new method called baby led weaning. And if you're not familiar, I talked about it before, but I will have a link down. Below that you can access some more information because. That gives us structure that gives us purpose that we're not. Just kind of ad-libbing as we go, we don't necessarily have moms or aunts or big sisters, around that we can really ask for advice, but this baby leg method was kind of acquired into the United States maybe 10 years ago, give or take, and it has become very popular popularized. And very beneficial. But in this episode, I want to share some practical tips in those other episodes. I mentioned, I really do a deep dive into the motor development and the teeth eruption, and where the do's and don'ts are with feeding different textures and all of that. But here, these are sort of some of the ground rules that will really help shape your home environment. So your baby and toddler and preschooler really get back on track or stay on track and really develop some good eating habits. and I bring this, this particular time. I think this will be published. in June, because in the summer months, we all know that our schedule gets a little more loosey goosey, right. With a daylight hour shifting. And no matter where you're living, our routine gets a little off track and we tend to have more day, day family trips or people visiting or picnics, or we're kind of winging it. And so I want to bring it in the forefront. So that you don't bend the rules too, too much, especially if you have a little one, if you have a six or eight or 10 month old, and they're just literally getting the hang of what is this food stuff that I'm. Eating or chewing or munching on and how do I get more of it in a more pleasant way? Right. But if you have a slightly older, an 18 month old or 24 month or three year old, make sure that you really. Generate and figure out what your family rules are or your system. So they continue to stay on track because it's really hard if we're kind of loosey goosey and all over the place in the summer to get things back on track in August or September. with the school year. But even with all of that, I'm encouraging you moms and dads and grandparents, and anybody's involved. To stay focused and, and to figure out what is your end goal? I mean, I, and I say that a lot here because. You know, I'm a former athlete. I come from a lot of competition in my life and there's gotta be a goal. Right? You want your toddler to be happy and engaged. You want him or her to be pleasing, to be around. Right? You want your toddler and your preschooler. To be able to eat what you eat. And sleep through the night because their tummy is satisfied. They're able to digest their food. You want them to attend to the stories during the day? To ask inquisitive questions, right. To be engaged. And it's really important that we realize how important. That's re redundant, but it's really prime. To focus in on how nutrition and developing good eating skills. We'll support all of this. This learning right. Neurological growth and physical development, but social communication and all of that, because. Part of that goal is for you to bring your children into the kitchen for them to have a healthy relationship with a variety of foods, for it to be pleasurable, to share a meal together. And yes, you know, he, or she's going to have her, his favorites and it doesn't have to be chicken nuggets all the time. It doesn't have to be limited to three or four white foods. I want you all to think. The rainbow think balanced, right? Healthy protein, healthy fats. And non-processed carbs, Real carbs, fruit and vegetables. And the key here is always to have your child eat what you eat. And so I guess that's a good place to start. What do you eat? What's your palate like now? What are your, favorites? Do you eat the rainbow most days, or at least a wide variety of food choices? Or do your primary food come from a box and a bag. And I say that a lot here, and sometimes it's a joke. But it's really true. If you walk in the grocery store, You'll see the difference where all the fresh food is on the peripheral, right? From the meat to dairy, to the cheese, to the fruit, to the vegetable. And all the processed foods are down the aisles. So be careful of that and think about it. Just start baby shifting. and creating a whole different, healthy nutritional family life. So today as we walk through these 10 strategies, again, these are practical tips, practical strategies. Keep in mind, what are you doing today? And how. Open are you to making more healthy choices, right? So NUMBER ONE is to start with no pressure meals, which means. Always that your child, your toddler decides whether they're they will eat it or whether they won't. And if they do how much let them decide. That's on them. You decide when. And what right. But they decide if they will and how much. And so it's really no pressure. Then you pick some healthy choices they get to, to decide. And especially when they're still very, very young under. Say 18 months. Then they're still going to be playing around with it, right. And I talk about that in the previous episodes, but this is. This is how you set the stage. Right. And you say, this is what we're having for dinner, or this is what we're having for breakfast. Here's your lunch. And sometimes you can give them choices, but it's within your boundaries of what you think. Is on the menu for that particular meal, right? So I always say, start with dinner. You can start with this, the snacks, or, you know, one single food. But giving them this choice. Meaning. Okay, honey, you sit there at the table with us. This is what the family is having for dinner, but it takes the pressure off of them. You decide whether you want to eat it or not. There's no pressure. You know, And sometimes they're simply not hungry, but this gives them that, that sense of autonomy, they have some choice and some control. And really that's what toddlers are striving for. Some sense of control or say in the matter, right. Take the pressure off of them. And yourself. So don't say things like, oh, just one more bite. Right. You're kind of forcing them narrowly, right? Just one more bite and then you can get down or one more bite and you can have dessert. And we'll talk about that in a minute. But. Oh, you'll make mama very happy. If you take one more bite. Um, that's kind of bribing that that's a lot of pressure. They're not quite sure how to really understand that. And so. Their messaging is a little, I don't know, dysregulated, right? or I think this is what we all have fallen into is. You can have dessert as soon as you finish what's on your plate, right? That's a really common statement. Or just try it once and then you can have dessert. So you're setting them up. That, oh, this over here, this so-called desert. At 18 months or even two years old, they don't really know what desert means, what that term means, but they know that this sounds a heck of a lot better than this broccoli chicken over here. Right. But if you. Bribe them or, or push them into, oh, just two more bites and then you can play or just try it once and you can have dessert. Those things are not setting them up for understanding. This is the healthiness. This is what's going to make you strong. This is what's going to help you sleep and have good digestion. None of which they understand, of course, but you're helping them. Them go through the motion and feel satisfied at the end and feel rested And Andy. Over time. They'll see that connection. I mean, you and I feel good after a really healthy meals, like, ah, that was really satisfying, right? But if it starts practicing when they're one year old and two years old and three years old, right. It might seem a little uncomfortable for you to give them that much. Um, responsibility, right? To say, you decide whether you're going to eat it or not. But this is what the family's having. This is what we fixed. Together. But I assure you that if you start soft pedaling, it. Then the pressure's off of you and him or her. And then they'll be more engaged or open to the ideas because the power struggle has been dissipated. Remember your goal? That you want a pleasant dinner, right? You want your little guy to be engaged and a healthy. Gregarious eater. And it starts with these little stages, these little steps, these little opportunities to practice, Again, a calm dinner. Pleasant experience for the whole family to be together, to share a meal. so now NUMBER TWO one of the strategies; say, you can eat it when you're ready. That's a strategy, meaning that there's no pressure on them. First of all, you take the pressure away by saying, just sit down and be with us. You decide whether you're going to eat or not. And then the next kind of mindset is. If you're not ready right now, just wait a few minutes. You can eat it later, because you might put it in front of them. They push it away. No, no, no, I don't want it. Okay. Don't worry. I'll set her right over here. You can just hang with us. I'm going to eat the chicken. I'm going to eat the sweet potatoes. Ooh. I love this new soup, right. Don't get sucked into. Oh, just try it. Just try it. Oh, don't fuss. Don't fuss, right? It's just like, oh, it's okay. It's okay. It'll be right here. Dinner is 20 minutes. We're going to hang. We're all going to share, right? You set the stage. You eat it. If you're ready, if you're not that's okay. Right. expect them to sit at the table with you. For an appropriate amount of time, whether it's five minutes or 10 minutes, depending on how, how old they are. Maybe give them a little glass of cold water that always can stimulate the appetite. But, you know, engage, talk about the food, talk about the day, be as natural as possible, Make it light hearted. It's not always about eating per se. It's about. Being together around the food, around sharing the meal together. And then. You you're removing some of that pressure. And then they're like, oh, all right, they're all eating this stuff. It might not be that bad. Or sometimes he, or she just simply isn't hungry and that's okay. So. The one, side note, I always suggest to parents that, don't look at it in, in isolated days, look at it over several days, or how is this whole week been? And, and see if there are any patterns of maybe he's eating too much at lunch or the snack was too big or whatever, but. Try to gather data across several days and then see, is he really eating enough calories over time? And, and you can say to them, Oh, you're, you're not hungry now. That's okay. The kitchen will be open again later. And we'll get back to that point. And as I've mentioned, this particular one, but it's important that there again, there's no pressure. In the moment. You'll have another opportunity later. It's not between you and me here. It's not like, oh, if you can eat whenever you want. But we're going to talk about how to set the stage for when your kitchen is open and closed. Right. But here's a little secret. And many of you may have heard this, but it's really, really helpful. If you put at least one food that he or she usually likes, usually eats next to something else, then at least they'll eat that one. Food, whether it's the carrots or whether it's a meatball or, Some, um, mashed potatoes, right? It's all about eating something and hanging with the family. Getting into that groove. Now NUMBER THREE piggybacks on that and I mentioned it about open and closed kitchen hours. And that's really important. And I know it's a hard thing to do in this modern lifestyle of ours, because we tend to be very open-ended and very fluid with our meals. Right. And I've shared before in a previous episode about what the experience is, if you help or if you. Create a Grazer in your life. Right. So a child who just eats here, there. A few bites here, a snack here, a little bit of your food, a little bit, or their food. They walk around. They have no boundaries. It's not healthy. It's not helping them grow and learn about food or, you know, nutrition. It certainly isn't serving them developmentally. Right. And it's a really, really hard habit to break. Once you kind of have created that you can do it, and it's easier at 18 months and 24 months in three years. But. You know, beyond that, it gets kind of nightmarish. I'll just tell you, because I've worked with a ton of families that they have one or two grazers, and now they're pushing that third birthday or that fourth birthday. And so it's really important. You new moms. If you have a six month old or a one year old or an 18 month old. To really figure out how am I going to create a healthy family life around food. Right. And it, you can do it by. Opening up the whole dialogue. And even if you have a two or three-year-old you just say, this is how our kitchen works, this is how our family works. And, and I know that a lot of you out there think that it's pretty typical, right? Because so many people eat that way or live that style, but it's not typical. it's, it's just common, right? And I believe there was another, episode that I shared back in October of 20 23, about how to stop or how to help stop your toddler from grazing all day long. And many of these ideas do kind of overlap. So. The main thing is that if a child or even us adults, if we are snackers all day long, it really does disrupt our hunger hormone. And then we never really feel hungry. Right. And so it's really hard to open our mind or our taste buds, or even our stomach into maybe trying something new. Or like, oh, it doesn't really look interesting. Testing. Cause I'm not really hungry. Right. I've been snacking on and off all day. So. Eh, you know, maybe, maybe not. It does smell good. It. Might taste good, but I'm not interested. And so it's really, really important that you focus on your three meals and maybe a couple of light snacks, depending on how many calories they eat on their three meals. And depending on your lifestyle, you have to. Balance that out. Right. And when I talk about snacks with my family, it's a healthy snack. It's not something that you open and have some, Cheetos or some, a cookie, that's not a snack, that's highly ultra processed food that aren't serving them. And the truth is, is that the food industry has created all of these snack foods. another term that I've used as crunchy air, right? It's just ultra processed foods that gives us no benefit. Never really feels, but they've designed them to want us or to make us trick our brain into going back and getting more and more because we're never really satisfied. We're never feeling. complete. So just be mindful of that. Look at your own eating habits and say, okay, how can I, create healthier snacks? You can start by looking at real food. Say a couple of slices of apple and some nut butter, Or, a couple of chunks of, meat and a couple of cubes of cheese. Or. We in my family, when my daughter was growing up a lot, we would roll up sliced meat. Right. We'd put cheese in it or put some hummus. Maybe some dips of carrots and hummus. with a few meat, roll up a couple of hard boiled eggs with Mayo, or catch up whatever you like. Right. And whole fat. Plain Greek or goat or sheep yogurt. Right. You can try to stay away from the cow's milk because a lot of people are having difficulty digesting that and that's for another conversation. But. You could add some berries, you could throw some cut up some apples. All of those are real healthy food. They typically come from one ingredient. That's what you want. You want. To serve them. Foods that come from. As close to nature as possible, right. That they weren't created in some plant. And put in a box and have, additives to make us want to finish the whole bag. But the whole idea for snacks and meals is to sit down at the table. And just because it's a snack, don't think that you can just mindlessly eat And. This goes for you and me as the grownups, as well as our children. So good habits start young. And it's important that we begin to set the stage now. So then it will serve them forever more. And this now brings me to NUMBER FOUR which is to sit down with them and eat. And this is part of. The natural strategies that helps. All of us as human beings to share a meal. To slow things down. And to really enjoy the process. And it really should begin at six months of age when you're beginning to introduce solids and that's more or less exploratory eating, right. They're not eating food for nutrition. Or nutrients, right. Or calories that they're getting at 6, 8, 10, months. They're still getting. 90 to 99% of their calories and nutrition from the bottle or the breast. But when you begin at six months and this seems to follow, or this does follow, the baby led weaning, then it is beginning to introduce and showing them how they can taste different things and chew different things and swallow safely and all of these behavioral aspects that he or she, your son or daughter learned by watching you. By getting direction and encouragement from you. So I know many many parents and it could be you too. That you're chasing your toddler around trying to get them to eat something. No, sit them up an appropriate chair, a high chair that supports them with their foot rest. And they're 90 degrees at the hips and the knees and ankles, and then 90 degrees. So they can safely chew and eat with their, their jaw and. Is that midline right? And then you will have a healthy, if you start setting the stages six months and eight months and 10 months, then when they're seven and 10. And 15. They'll continue to sit. And have a dinner together as a family. and, and I know that a lot of people sit in front, a lot of people. At restaurants at home. It neighbors, wherever you go with a screen. You know, you go into a bar or you go into a bar restaurant and there's like a thousand screens around. I don't eat at those places. That's to me is toxic and just grading on my soul. But that's mindless eating and it. And all this noise and destruction, especially if they're little, especially if they're under one or two or three or five or six right meal time, like I said, needs to be social and shared and enjoyed and relaxed. It shouldn't be rushed, especially when they're little. And yes, we're going to have a day here or a day there that it's going to be rushed, right. Or. Or just kind of coming at you in all different. shapes and sizes. But I always think of it as the 80 20 rule. Right. If 80% of the time we get it right then that 20%. that's our wiggle room and that's going to be okay. But in the beginning, It's about safety, right? We are always wanting to avoid the choking or the gagging or the extra gagging mishaps, right. Gagging is our natural reflex to say. Oh, I'm still learning how to chew and swallow and engage with people and not over-shove of food in my mouth or, or to half chew it. Right. If they're one or two or three, they're still figuring that out. Now choking is very, very serious. but if you set the stage like this and you're showing them and it's peaceful and it's enjoyable, then those mishaps those danger things can easily be avoided. but sitting down with them gives them the opportunity also to listen to their own body. Am I hungry. Does this taste good? Hm. Do these flavors go together, right? Or, You know, like I said earlier, we want them to come to the table hungry. So that's why we don't want that grazing or snacking all day long. And we want them to feel what it's like to eat in it and a nice pace and then get to the point where like, huh. I don't want to eat anymore. I'm satisfied. The protein really filled me up a little good, healthy fats. Some, some fruit or vegetables on the side, I'm really well-rounded here. Right. But it takes. Conscious effort to figure out, oh, there I was hungry. Now I'm satisfied. And. You know, we all enjoy the opportunity or we all enjoy the experience when we come to the table and we're hungry. Right. And then we get satisfied. But I think parents, especially in this day and age, somehow, Perhaps commercials or rumors or whatever. Somehow we think a child because they're growing, they're learning, they're developing. They can never be hungry. And that's just simply not true. You're not going to starve your child. You're going to say, honey, dinner's going to be ready in 20 minutes. You could wait. It's okay to come to the table hungry. Actually that's the goal, right? And you can, you can model for them. You know what? I'm hungry too. And we're all going to sit down. Maybe you can come and help me. And so. Setting the stage like this, even if it's a picnic in the backyard, even if it's a barbecue, right? You sometimes you have some snacks, Some vegetables and you can dip, hopefully not too many chips and salsa, that's one of my weaknesses. But it's, it's all about the timing, right? And that you set the time you set the pace you model for them. And so that brings me to NUMBER FIVE, which would be. That we, the adults, the grownups. We decide and set the menu. And, And that we have to, we have to have some thought in this and we have to have some purpose. It makes sense to give. What you know that they'll eat right. Chicken nuggets. Bread and butter pasta, a frozen pizza. it makes sense, at least on the superficial level, like at least they'll eat this. But the truth is if we're honest, it's devoid of any nutrients, It's not, it satisfies. Anybody who eats like that for 10 minutes or 20 minutes? it doesn't really give us the macro nutrients or the micro nutrients that we need. Right. The vitamins, the minerals. It doesn't sustain them. So try to shift. Your eating habits, it'll take step-by-step. But I have found a lot of families are willing to do this for the sake of their child. And so everybody benefits right. And so it's our job as the grownups, as the parents to serve those balanced meals and snacks. And then, like I said, I think a number one, it's your toddler's decision. To either eat it or not, or how much. Right. But. You're setting the stage. Um, And I'm pretty sure I mentioned this earlier, but it's worth repeating. If you serve one food that they typically eat. With at least two others that you're trying to nudge them into. At least they'll eat that one food. They usually will take a good portion of that. because they've also learned, say for three days in a row or three weeks in a row. Oh, I'm really not going to eat until the next meal. I can't just go in the cupboards and eat a snack bar. Right or pick up an apple, So he gets to decide, but again, he knows the kitchen is closed or open it's open during the meals and then closed when the whole family is done. Right. And it's, it's hard, but I strongly encourage you to hold on to this policy because it will help you in the long run. And it's it. I know it's not easy again, in this fast paced. World where we're so used to having two or three snacks in our handbag and we're going out the door and we'll eat in the car, or we, you know, pushing them down the cart and here have a snack eat, eat one of these bars. That is not serving anyone. I know it's hard to hear, but it's the truth, Your toddler will learn if you show him the way, Remind him in the morning. Oh, gosh. You're really hungry because you didn't eat dinner last night. Ah, let's go have a good breakfast together. And so you can help him connect the dots. You can help him understand. Oh yeah. I woke up extra early because my stomach was growling. Right. That happens to me even still to this day. But help them understand. That especially if their stomach does grovel. Oh, that means you want some good delicious food, so remember boundaries and, Structure is very good thing for an early child developing So now we'll take a look at NUMBER SIX. It's always fun, especially with younger kids. And it's not just your two and three year old, but six and eight years old. Keep it fun. Keep it interesting. you could make pretty designs with some cookie cutters. You can, change it up with utensils or different plates, right? We all love us nicely set table or pretty napkins, fun cups, all of these kinds of things. Again, it's social, it's engaging. Kids love to get involved in the process to have them, you know, even if they're too. They can be honest, a safe step right next to you where they can wash some of the vegetables or pull apart the lettuce, Or help you help you write, cut or stir or turn on the oven. Or see if it's hot or cold or, and all of those safety features, right. Always in the kitchen safety first, but help them get involved to the best of their ability. Right. And if it does start to get messy or out of control, then you know, you put a lid on it and say, oh no, we gotta, we gotta, um, you know, be respectful of the kitchen and get, get ready for dinner. Right. And set the boundaries. Let's see if you can settle down right. Um, or maybe you switched their task, go set the I look at the table. Ooh, what's missing. We need something that we can drink from why do we need. Right. And it goes back to that. You know, receptive language, asking them questions. Drawing their attention to the environment and then having them think and being part of the process. Right. So most of the time, if we start, if you start young, they will really, really get involved because they want all, you know, all toddlers and even preschoolers, they want to be in the thick of it with you. I know my daughter did and. And it was a joy. I mean, we loved cooking. We were a big foodies from the get go. And we just got better and better because of her. And it's great to see her as a young adult now really enjoy cooking. And, she has friends who are kind of picky eaters and. It's kind of stunning sometimes. And, and it's hard, I think to, to socialize with those people, when you have these two different pallets and these two different temperaments around food, But. It's great to have her call home and ask about a certain meal or a certain recipe, or what do we do for this or that. And, it's great to. To pass that on. and we still enjoy the times when she comes home for the holidays or a special affairs. And it's all about, again, sharing a meal with family and loved ones and sitting down and having a rich conversation. But you know, that really started at six months of age. So now NUMBER SEVEN keep serving it. And what that means is that we have learned through, baby led weaning, but a lot of other, Specialists who have really worked on kids who are picky eaters, what, typical eating is for, for a toddler and a preschooler that kids will often need up to 15 exposures. Before they're really willing open. And able to try a new food. So keep serving it to them and you can change up the preparation, Whether it's. Something is baked or something could be. mashed think of perhaps a sweet potato, but most kids, do like sweet potatoes, but they could still be cut in different shapes. chicken can be served in different ways, right? You can have a drumstick, you can have some dark meat. You can have strips of a breast with some sauce, when they're really, really young, I do caution families to not really do breast meat because. The white meat of a chicken can be pretty dry. And so I always say stick with the dark. the dark meat of the chicken, because it's a lot more moist and, and they can kind of chew it even with their gums. And so, just be mindful of that. but keep trying that, and I know that there are, I don't know, 200 different vegetables out there. I don't like all of them, we all kind of have our favorites. But do try to change it up a little bit and, and expose them to a variety again, think of the rainbow. like I said, we have our, our go tos, but to be willing to try. To be exposed to variety of vegetables, served in a different way. And so. I know that often parents will say to me, you know, why should I give it to them? They won't eat it. It's just wasteful. And I then come back and I say, well, if you never serve it to them, They will never eat it right? If you want them to be good vegetable eaters or to try a variety of meat. then, you have to give them opportunities to appreciate it, right. Um, And like I said earlier, if you give them something that they do like, and then just one or two pieces of something that's more novel, then they might. See it 10 times, 12 times. And then on that 13th or 14th time, they'll pick up a piece and, and eat it. And it really does take that. Amount of exposure to. Make it feel familiar, right? It's they might even pick it up and smell it. They might taste it and spit it out. That's okay. All of that is okay. That's the learning process. And they ultimately might not like, brussel sprouts, that's one vegetable my daughter despises. But. And you might not like brussel sprouts either, but the idea is to perhaps expose them to a variety of flavors and see how long it will will last and their repertoire. Right. So. Now we get to some of the interesting parts. NUMBER EIGHT is really looking at desserts. And I say desserts are for special occasions. And I'm really not sure when our culture started having a dessert after every meal, um, or with every meal, right. Even in. Elementary school, you have the tray and you'd have something, you know, a sloppy Joe or something and a cookie. And. And milk. but I know in the seventies and eighties at home, that simply wasn't the case. I don't think it was just my family because we were kind of on the poor side. but I think. really in the eighties when, and in the nineties, for sure when the process food, the food. Companies, right. The chemical plants really started creating. Easy packaged food and you didn't have to bake, A cookie or a cake or, or breads or any of that. but here's some of the statistics that I find amazing that in the 17 hundreds, The average person consumed about four pounds of sugar per year. And remember a a bag of sugar is like a four or five pound bag, And by 1800. People started to consume about 22 pounds. Per year, and then by 1900 to 1920, and that was the big shift. People started consuming about 50 pounds per year. And now in 2020, I think the last stat was like 20, 23, 20 22. 180 pounds of sugar. Per here. That's. An adult. Boy. Right. Young man, 180 pounds. And. That breaks down to I did the math about 53 teaspoons of sugar. Per day. And so I want you to think about this. This is not in desserts. We're. I mean, that's part of it. But these 53 teaspoons per day. Is found in all the juices. Or, and, or sodas, breads yogurts, peanut butter, jams and jellies sliced meat. Pasta dishes, spaghetti spaghetti sauces, right? Catch up pickles. And all of those long lists of dry cereals. You know, that's, that's one. Food product. And I do look at it as a product. It's not a real food right. but protein bars. Energy bars, granola, all of that, the regular, everyday food, or even snack foods. They just have. A ton of sugar in it, 53 teaspoons a day. And these are all the highly processed, ULTRA processed foods that we think. Is normal or healthier, typical, just because it's common. But 72% of children here in the United States, or I'm sorry, 72% of the food. That our children eat is ultra processed. Right. So they're not eating a lot of just real one ingredient, food like chicken. We're stake. Or ground beef. Or broccoli. Green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes. Uh, tomato and egg. Cheese, we do have to be careful of cheese of how it's made or processed. Right? A lot of cheese spreads have a lot of additives and sugar. but all of those other foods. One ingredient. So I know it can be overwhelming. I know. And so I just want you to start easy. Simple steps. Cut out the juices. Right. No low fat or fruit flavored, quote unquote, when any product has FLAVORED next to it, like. smoke flavor or honey flavor, that flavor came out of a lab. It's not real. Right. So when you have a low fat fruit flavored yogurt, It's just full of sugar and chemicals. And then there's a whole other. Product. Called pouches that I would love. Every new mom to never, ever buy. and that's going to be in another episode, but, I've done a deep dive into how they became so popular and what they're doing. Not only because they're full of sugar, but because they do. Suck them down. And there's no chewing. There's no real swallowing. It just slides down. There's no satisfaction and they just want another one. But, Everybody's doing it. Babies, toddlers, preschoolers, And this, the schools hate them because the caps on them are so big is just mind boggling. To discard. Um, but. Remember how eating, learning, how to eat. Sucking, chewing, biting correlates with speech development, right? The motor coordination. And it's all related. So, if you can omit some of those, the juices, the sugar flavored, yogurts, dry cereal, start there and the pouches, right? Look in your pantry. Taken inventory. Read the ingredients. If there's more than three, this is my kind of rule of thumb with families. If there's more than three ingredients or worse, you can't pronounce them. Then put them back on the shelf in the grocery store. Or if you find them in your pantry, use them up. Or give them away, or, just don't buy them again. I know it's easy for me on this end to say that, but I cannot tell you how it just becomes this ripple effect. From their mood and their self-regulation, their attention, their digestive issues, their growth and learning potential, their sleeping issues, their sinus issues. All of it is interrelated. So. Look at minor steps, one step at a time. as I'm talking about 180 pounds of sugar a year, the average American child. And all the F the food that I mentioned, I didn't even really mention desserts. Right. Because we get so much sugar in all of our food. That having a cupcake as a dessert. Is nothing. So that's why I say desserts should be on special occasion especially if everything else is real healthy food from nature, the way that God designed it for us humans to consume. Then, you know, having a special treat for a birthday or new year's day or, you know, Grandma's birthday. That that's great. That's okay. so does. Keep that in mind, it's really critical for, for all of us humans. and this is one thing that you really do have full control over. right? And then, there is a side note. I want to also discourage you from using desserts as a bribe or reward. And I think I mentioned it earlier but. Eat. Two more bites and then you get, you know, ice cream or eight, two more bison. You get a cookie.'cause that. Again sets the stage that we're discriminating food, And they're like, well, desert that word. Gotta be better than dinner and dinner's bad. So when you call kids to dinner, Then they're like, I don't want to go. I just want, you know, snack over here or have a, a thing of apple sauce even, that's not really considered dessert. But it certainly is a snack food that is. not healthy or helpful or nourishing, right. Especially if they've added sugar to it, which many, many of them do. so kids quickly learn that even applesauce is better than broccoli. Cookies are amazing compared to broccoli. That's gross, right? And so we want to set the message that dinner is the best, And desserts are rare. And special. And that we're not going to Confront these two together. Right? And so think of the logical statement. If we want our toddler to be a healthy eater, we have to give them healthy foods. Right? So snack foods are full of sugar. And additives and dyes and chemicals. Right. And, that's not considered a healthy food. And so if we want them to be healthy eaters, we need to set the stage with healthy foods. Which now leads me to NUMBER NINE. Where. We need to model the behavior that we want from our children. And it goes back, I alluded to this before. That our children learn by watching us. That's just a fact it's human nature. Right? Most of their learning. Is, especially at this age is by watching. Right. You, eat this, I eat this, you talk this way. I talk this way. You treat other people this way. I treat this the good, the bad and the ugly, right? Because that's how human beings learn. And they will, they can and should eat. What you eat, so that simplifies your life as well. One meal for the whole family. So model all of the above strategies. In front of your toddler. sitting down. Come to the table, hungry, And open and closed kitchen times. I want to share with my family, my loved ones. Ooh, I'm hungry. I can't wait to eat dinner in 30 minutes. sitting with them, sharing, enjoying the process, Don't have two separate meals. Two separate menus. And that's really what started me on this journey. With our daughter one, I saw the kids. The picky eaters were starting. The numbers were starting to escalate there in the early 2000 when my daughter was born. but I also never, ever wanted to have two different meals to become, a short order cook. but if I enjoy prepping it and I enjoy setting the table and I enjoy, being together, then they're going to follow my lead. Right. If I look at a recipe and I say, Ooh, this looks pretty good. Maybe we should try that. you know, show them the pictures and then when they go shopping, oh, we need this, this and this for that recipe. Remember. And then you also have to look at like how much snack food do you depend on and where are your desserts? Are they just special occasions? But if we model what we want, then everybody benefits. Right. And now we reached number 10. There's a lot of good research around this one. And it really is avoiding any screens during meals. And I know you go to a restaurant. You go to a cafeteria, you go to a school. Yeah, we all have a phone in front of us or some kind of screen. It used to be that we would just have, either sit in front of the TV screen or have the screen in the background. But even in the background, you know, that would be either news, which is quite negative and hostile these days or a sporting event. What does. Very loud and disruptive can be very distracting, especially to a young child who you're trying to build. good eating habits. and we want to show them how to. Chu and pacer food and being engaged. and through modeling, but if we are distracted by a sporting event or show or a movie or the news. It doesn't serve anybody. And there's a lot of research that. as kids get older and they sit in front of the screen and they eat, that all becomes mindless. Right. so those are my 10 top strategies of, again, just kind of building this. a framework of how you're going to create a healthy home environment around food and with family and all of that. And then my bonus is simply that if you're really, really concerned, I want you to never. Uh, hesitate seeking expert advice. because picky eaters. Can really snowball and you can do 10, 15, 20 years of, Serious. Unhealthy. habits. And so if we can start to nip this early. And be more mindful that, 50% of our kids are obese or severely overweight. and they have a lot of mental health issues. And now there are many, many variables. I'm not saying that, but the way that we eat the food that we choose or the. You know, junk food and somebody recently said there is no junk food. There's junk. And then there's food. but it eating in front of the screen, eating in isolation, eating all day long. Eating out of a bag or a box, none of that is serving any of us. And so as a new mom, as a new family, You can jump in the driver's seat and you can say, okay, I'm going to set the stage. I'm going to learn how to do this. I won't be perfect at it. We won't be perfect at it. But we'll, we'll be much more mindful and, and improve with every step along the way. So I just want as a bonus tip that. some kids do become extremely picky eaters, not just, temporarily right. Incredibly stressful for everyone, the child, you as the parent and the whole family. And I've worked with a number of families over the years. and I've had some really good success, but I don't necessarily consider myself a feeding expert. I know the oral motor aspects. I know what a healthy food, and I know how to introduce that and get them on the right path and to help you, mom and dad, and. And grandparents, But I think when it becomes a really severe problem, then you might need to seek a specialist. Because I don't want you to struggle. I don't want your PR. Your, your toddlers to suffer. so there is. One particular woman that I have used as a resource and a consultant with a number of my clients over the years. And her name is Julie Matthews. I will have her link down below. She has courses. She has. Groups. She wrote a great book. She's is called nourishing hope for autism. And her company is called nourishing hope and, bio individual nutrition. And I think that's the key where she really, she knows her stuff. But she really looks at it as bio individual nutrition. Like, how is your gut microbiome? How is your system actually breaking down? These foods are not breaking down these foods and how can we help regulate that and build a healthy, more robust system. So then your, your child is much more open and willing. Now the key is even though her company is. And her book is called, focusing on autism. She doesn't just deal with children on the autism spectrum. She deals with a wide variety of families and a wide variety of issues. You know, it just so happens that children on the spectrum. We'll often be severely picky eaters. But, I've seen your present a number of times I've taken several of our courses. And as I've said, I have shared numerous clients with her over the years. and she will work with families remotely. And, and the interesting part is that parents I have found sometimes are pretty unaware at the severity of their picky eater. and so I think it's just great to start peeling back the layers asking so questions and seeing. W what can we do? In a systematic way to help, To help your child, you know, get back on path on track and they can, they really, really can. So please don't ever underestimate. The ability of the human body. to get healthy. And recover from this end because. Given the opportunity given the chance the children can. Now I will also have a link down below to, An article called the top 22 child nutritionist. And pediatric dieticians to follow to follow online. Right? And I've ha I do read some of their work and I follow a few of these people on this list. I can't specifically recommend any one person over another with the exception of Julian Matthew, because she's the one that I've used over the last, you know, 10, 15 years. But I wanted to give you another option to do some of your own research. If you find that you want to seek expert advice, I wanted to highlight. Um, because I think it's interesting that. The field of pediatric dieticians has expanded significantly over the last 10, 15 years. They were pretty hard to find, in the early two thousands, but based on the need and the parents who are really struggling, not just kids on the autism, but sensory motor kids. even just the average kid out there who. is struggling around food and eating. Like I said it, then the domino effect, right. With their attention, would their mood would their self-regulation with their meltdowns, with their ability to sleep. All of that. It becomes so. Interwoven that is, it's hard to. really find that trigger right. And so I do think it's, fascinating too, to see how many. Pediatric nutritionists and dieticians are popping up. but there's a number of reasons why this challenge. is exploding on us. And, and we can certainly talk about that at a different time, but I wanted to give you these options. If you feel like you're looking at your three-year-old And he is really, really struggling. And the good news is, I do have a special guest who is scheduled later in the summer. And I just want to encourage you all that. If you get on my email list, then you'll be the first to know who that guest will be and when that's going to happen. So I it's related to this topic and I, wanted to give you that inside scoop. So I'm rooting for you too. Start looking at your home life and looking, in your pantry or in your cupboards, or when you go shopping and be open. to look at it and, and to investigate, how can you. Start to set the stage a little bit differently. I know you got this, but I'm here for you. To always recognize it. Especially if you have a 1, 2, 3, even a four year old, they're still super, super young. And, I'll tell you my friend, that they can turn around with your guidance. And you just have to believe of what you can bring to the table. No pun intended, but thanks again from the bottom of my heart for spending time with me and remember. Eat well, play every day. And talk with your toddlers about your daily activities. God bless. And I'll see in the next episode,